[ tw, this chapter includes potentially triggering material including drugs and drug consumption. please skip this chapter if you feel uncomfortable, i'm here if anyone wants to talk. ]
it's been a week. a whole fucking week since the 'incident' in the diner. felix locked himself in his room for an entire week.
has he gone to school? no. has he spoken to his family? no. has he spoken to jisung? no, that's how you know something's really wrong.
there's been knocking all around him, from his family on his door. and from his boyfriend, on his window. has he opened either of them? not at all.
he ran out of cigarettes three days ago, and has just been laying in bed—or on the floor, listening to music in silence.
his family left plates of food on the desk that was beside his door, but he only ever opened it in the dead of the night while everyone was asleep.
in all honestly he wasn't hungry, but he ate because he knew he had too. when he was finished he would put the empty plate back onto the desk.
but that's it. that's all he did for a week straight.
he had an idea. a bad one, but not as back as his pervious idea. you know, the one at the bridge. this one takes a while to fuck up your life, but that one only took a few seconds.
——
"felix!"
the boy turned around at the call of his name, he was shaking with nerves but nonetheless he walked over to the boy with dark hair.
"hey, you got it?" he asked, his voice shaking, hoping the other didn't hear it.
"money first." choi san said, holding his hand out in front of the blonde. felix sighed and pulled out a fifty dollar bill.
choi san unzipped the backpack he was holding, pulling out two small bags filled with white powder.
"listen felix—"
"i know, don't tell anyone. i won't." felix said quickly, cutting the taller off. choi san sighed deeply at his words, "don't be a dumbass, felix."
"it's only once." felix whispered, his entire mood dropping deeper.
"that's what they all say. see you later, felix." choi san said, waving as he pocketed the money.
felix watched as his silhouette disappeared behind a wall, before looking down at the white baggy's he held in his hand.
this is so stupid.
⚠️
felix was sat on the floor, rocking himself back and forth. he practically burning holes into the floor, where the white baggy's sat beside his black lighter.
he sighed heavily, before grabbing one of the bags which was labeled 'c.' he opened it as quietly as possible, and poured some of the white powder onto the screen of his phone.
he lined up the white powder with his lighter, before sighing heavily for the fifth time this night.
he stared down at the powder for a few seconds, before deciding fuck it and snorting it all up.
his nose instantly started burning, making him cough a bit. felix laid down on the floor beside his phone, staring up mindlessly at the dark ceiling.
and that's when it hit him.
he felt his eyes get droopy, and he laughed a bit at the sensation the drug had gave him.
wow, this was kind of fun.
felix didn't even understand why this stuff was illegal, it was so fun! he thought to himself, laughing out loud when he realized he wanted more.
so he quickly made another line, and snorted it up faster than the first one.
he was laughing like a maniac, before he gasped when he heard a creek of the door.
seowon. shit shit shit—
felix instantly stood up, grabbing the two baggy's, his phone and a pair of old headphones he wasn't even sure that still worked.
he opened up his window, as quietly as he could and climbed onto the ledge, before jumping down the side of the house.
he could only hope no one heard him, because he knew he was being loud as shit. he just couldn't control it.
he ran down the street laughing loudly, music blasting in his headphones.
he didn't know where he was running, he just wouldn't stop until he couldn't physically breathe.
felix coughed harshly, falling onto his knees. when he finally caught his breath, he looked up from the floor and found himself in a local park.
he walked over to the eerily quiet jungle gym, and climbed all the way to the top, and laid down on floor of the jungle gym.
he was staring up at the sky, he could see the lights of planes flying over his town.
along with the billions and billions of pretty stars in the sky, which looked oh so pretty painted on the pitch black sky.
he could already feel the high slowly wearing off, and he wanted— no, he needed more.
so he did it again, two lines at once this time. and oh, did he love it.
felix laughed loudly, without a care in the world of anyone hearing. to be honest, he hoped they did so that they could know how happy he was right now.
god, he so badly needed this. all these years gone by, and he never truly felt as happy as he did in this moment.
that's when he heard someone calling his name, even though it was quiet through his headphones. they must've been talking loudly enough for him to hear it with the music playing.
felix pulled off his headphones, the music still playing an old song from the early two thousands.
"yeah?" he asked, chuckling slightly at the way his voice sounded. soon, a face popped up in front of him.
"hyunjin?"
——
shits gettin real :o
btw i do not encourage taking drugs whatsoever as it fucks you up very much (not by experience dw) so please please don't be a dumbass even if you don't know what else to do, i'm always here to talk if anyone needs it <3 stay safe lovelies
YOU ARE READING
𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 & 𝐂𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐒 | ON HOLD
Fanfiction"but strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you." in which all felix wants is to put his restless mind at ease, but when he tries, a stranger who smells of cigarette smoke comes into his life. [ H.JS X L.FL ]
