that night, felix went home, walking through the front door and closing it behind him.
"felix? where did you go?" his mother asked sadly, walking over to the boy and giving him a tight hug. "remember hwang hyunjin?" he asked, and she nodded his head. "i was with him."
felix's mother smiled at him, "i'm glad you're making more friends, son." she said, rubbing his shoulder before she left the room. felix went back up to his bedroom, pausing when he saw the movie cases stacked in front of his door. he silently grabbed them, before unlocking the door and walking into the dark room, closing the door behind him, making the room pitch black.
he set the movie cases on his desk, before he slowly walked over to his window, making sure not to bump into anything. he pulled opened the curtains, lighting up his entire bedroom.
he took a deep breath as he looked around, looking at the mess that was his bedroom. there were clothes scattered everywhere, there were cigarette butts on his floor, and empty cans of energy drinks on his desk. he sighed heavily before he moved to gather all of the garbage, throwing it all in the trash bin.
then, he moved onto all of the clothes. separating the clean clothes from the dirty ones, before he threw the dirty clothes into the washer. he flopped down onto his messy, unmade bed with a heavy sigh. he had barely done anything, but he was already tired.
he forced himself to sit up, sighing again as he left his bedroom to grab the broom, sweeping his floors before he moved onto begin mopping the floor.
"ah, my fucking back hurts." he whispered to himself as he finally finished, making his bed before he sat down with yet another heavy sigh.
he scrolled through his phone, reading through all of the text messages from the past week he had never bothered to check. his heart swelled up reading the messages from jisung, and he couldn't tell if it was because of love or sadness.
to put it simply, felix felt like shit. he felt selfish as he continued reading the messages, including the ones from his family.
he had spent so much time stuck in his head, that he was starting to think that no one around him cared. but what he didn't know, was that they did. they just showed it in ways he didn't understand.
for example, when his sister left the movie cases— which were his favourites, in front of his door. or when his parents would leave plates of food at his door, and when jisung would come knocking at his window.
and when he would send him multiple messages, and call him an insane amount of times in one day.
he felt so selfish and stupid for worrying them all, but he was too stuck in his own, stupid, stupid head.
felix hugged his knees to his chest as a few tears rolled down his cheeks, looking up when he heard a knock at his window. he quickly wiped his eyes, standing up and walking over to the window to let the boy in.
"lix, what's wrong?" jisung frowned at the boy who sniffled and shook his head as he sat back down on his bed. "n—nothing." he said quietly, his voice shaking as he spoke.
"you don't have to tell me now, it's okay." the elder said softly, grabbing felix's hand making the boy look up at him. felix sighed heavily as he shrugged.
"it's just.. i—i feel selfish." he whispered and jisung instantly shook his head.
"you? selfish?" he asked, shaking his head once again as felix sighed once more. "you're the most selfless person ever, and you're always thinking about others."
"i—i'm not—"
"you're considerate, and you give options to people which is, like, the most thoughtful thing ever!" jisung said, a smile on his face as he wrapped his arm around felix's shoulder.
"and you're always trying to find the best in people, and not a lot of people do that." jisung said, his voice more quiet and soft. "that's one of my favourite things about you, lix."
[ sorry to cut in like this but, my crush literally said all of those things to me </3 ]
"i'm really not all that great.." felix said, looking down at his hands with a shy smile. "no, you are!"
"you're, like, the best person i've ever met. i'm honestly so happy that we met." felix felt his cheeks burning and he was only praying that the other couldn't see it. "thanks.." he mumbled, and jisung tightly hugged him, making felix laugh.
"get off! i can't breathe!" he laughed, trying to push the boy off. "i'll smother you to death." jisung said with a smile, squeezing tighter. "okay, okay! i'm sorry!" felix laughed, and jisung finally pulled away.
felix smiled when jisung ruffled his hair, the boy hugging him again but not as tightly. felix hummed quietly, burying his neck into his neck.
"i like this feeling.." he mumbled, and jisung nodded. "me too."
——
IM CRYING I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
YOU ARE READING
𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 & 𝐂𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐒 | ON HOLD
Fanfiction"but strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you." in which all felix wants is to put his restless mind at ease, but when he tries, a stranger who smells of cigarette smoke comes into his life. [ H.JS X L.FL ]
