The New Girl | 𝘈𝘛𝘌𝘌𝘡

Forgive Me

Seonghwa

안나: something came up but maybe dinner tomorrow?

My shoulders drop in disappointment as I read the text from Anna and look over at Wooyoung. "Distract me with your love problems so I don't have to worry about my own."

"Nothing new to report," Wooyoung mumbles before taking a hit of the joint that one of his friends brought over. "EllaJin has her mew perfect boyfriend with his muscles and his accent and his personality and shit. I can't even hate the guy; he's too fucking nice. It sucks."

His friend, Changbin, chuckles as he takes the joint and passes it to his boyfriend next to him. "Sorry man, but Chan hyung is a great guy. I don't even know of a weak spot except the dude never sleeps enough."

"Stupid perfect fucker," Wooyoung groans and throws his head back against the couch. "Do I just try my luck with dudes again? San and I used to have a lot of fun back in high school."

Changbin narrows his eyes and tightens his arm around Felix, who winks at Wooyoung. "Look elsewhere, dickhead."

"Yah! I didn't say your dude!" Wooyoung gripes with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I just—fuck I just want her. That's it... I want her and I can't have her because of stupid fucking Chan-Chris-whatever the fuck his name is."

"Maybe you should start by not talking about her like a possession," Felix interjects. "You keep saying you 'want' and 'can't have' her. She's not for you to own. A relationship is about respecting your partner, and I have yet to hear you talk about her with the respect that you owe her. Regardless of who she is or isn't dating, you owe her an apology. She might have made her mistakes too, but that's for her to own up to. Make things right on your end and then maybe you'll have enough closure to move on."

"You're right," Wooyoung grumbles after another best of silence. "I need to talk to her without getting caught up in her... I do respect her, but I haven't been acting like it. If she's happy... I'll go apologize and leave."

He's already grabbing his jacket by the end of his sentence and reaching for the doorknob. "Wish me luck?"

"You don't need luck, bro." Changbin bumps his fist against Wooyoung's. "Get it off your chest and then we'll go to the bar for some beers. Chan hyung is off tonight so we won't have to worry about bumping into him."

ELLAJIN

"Are you sure this isn't too much?" I look over my reflection in the mirror, the matching black satin bra and panty set suddenly feeling like too much and not enough all at once.

Sunny only gives me a dismissive pat on the head before handing me a silky black dress to wear on top. "You said he loves black. Would you prefer glitter? Because I can make that happen."

"No," I answer quickly. "I just... feel so awkward."

"Because your gay little brother is seeing you in your lingerie?" He jokes, but I only roll my eyes. "Chris is going to pounce when he sees you."

"Isn't this a little too much for a night in?" Chris and I planned our first sleepover tonight, complete with movies and pizza. "This outfit doesn't scream 'casual night in'."

"We're keeping the spice alive," Sunny reasons just as his phone chirps. "Speaking of, Beomgyu just asked if I'd come help him with his AP art assignment. I better go."

"So you can get spicy for your study date?" I tease back, and he sticks his tongue out at me.

"Shut up and put some waves in that hair before he gets here!" Sunny gives me a quick hug before running out the door to meet Beomgyu and leaving me to fix my hair before Chris comes over tonight.

Thankfully, my hair isn't in too much disarray so a few passes of the curling iron and I'm good to go, but the doorbell catches me off-guard as soon as I turn off the curler.

"Come in!" I yell from the bathroom while shoving all of the makeup and hair products into the cabinet under my sink. Once the counter is clear, I make my way to the front door. "You're earl—"

"—Hi." Wooyoung gives me a timid wave from the threshold of the door. "I hope I'm not intruding on anything."

"No uh..." I stop a few feet in front of him and notice the way he's breathing heavy. "Chris is coming over in a little while."

"Cool..." Wooyoung tears his eyes away from my frame and looks up at the ceiling. "Can we talk?"

"About what?" I cross my arms as if to defend myself from him, but he doesn't seem like himself. "Wooyoung are you okay?"

"I smoked a little before I came, but I'm not high." Wooyoung looks back over at me. "Most of the buzz went away while I was running over here."

"Why were you running?"

"Because I need to apologize." He studies my reaction, and when he only finds inquisition, he continues. "You're my noona, and I look up to you. You're my favorite person on this planet, but I haven't been treating you that way. I'm selfish and I want you all to myself, but you're not mine to have. I get that I don't always act mature, but I'm in love with you and I think I always will be, so I'm trying really hard to not hate Chris because he's good and I'm not. But I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I'm letting you go. I can't even try to find anyone else and who knows, maybe I'm supposed to be alone in this world, but if you're happier with him than I can make you, then I'll hurt myself so I can stop hurting you."

Wooyoung makes no move to come closer, but his words feel as though they've reached into my chest and are pulling at the walls of my heart.

"Wooyoung... I don't... I don't really know how to respond."

Except to tell you that I feel the same way

"You don't have to... just, please forgive me for being a dick. I can live with you not loving me back, but I can't handle you hating me." Wooyoung's eyes are threatening tears, but he manages to hold them back.

"I never hated you," I manage weakly, though my voice betrays me by faltering. "I forgive you."

"Thanks... I should go" Wooyoung forces the smallest smile before dashing out the front door and leaving me in disbelief.