For the Emperor

Chapter 23

Pain engulfed your every nerve as you began to regain consciousness. Your body lay weak on the table aboard the imperial ship. 

Eyes darting around as much as possible; you were unable to locate your husband in the vessel. Two medics were trying to mend the hole in your side, one holding your body down as the other began to stitch the wound up. No one had anticipated the need for battle precautions; the mission was simply meant to be retrieving you, so the ship had not been properly equipped to deal with such a serious wound. A loud scream erupted from you; agony so strong that you nearly vomited. 

As soon as the cry left your lips you felt a familiar warm hand against your cheek, cold ring chilling your burning skin, eyes slowly lifting up to meet the worried gaze of Kylo as he stood over you. His eyes fearful and red, cheek singed from the flames he had carried your through. His arm was bandaged to protect the mark your saber had left. Voice gentle and low, his mouth resting against your ear as he cooed words of encouragement to try and calm you down as the medics finished sealing the gash as best they could. The ship raced back towards the capital, your body still growing weaker with every moment you didn't receive proper treatment. Kylo's hand never left your cheek, only releasing you when the emergency team met the ship at the arrival pad.

The surgery was long and painful. Because of the lack of blood in your system it was too dangerous to knock you out from fear the drugs would get into your brain at a more concentrated dosage. Metal from the melting wall had solidified into the wound, making it hard for the surgeons to clear you of debris and clean up the cuts. After hours of gruelling labour, the surgeons managed to remove all the foreign objects and applied proper stitches to help encourage a speedy recovery.

You lay in a dark, quiet room, left to your own devices per your request. Kylo had been rushed into emergency talks as soon as you were taken into theatre, and you had asked staff not to alert him about the end of your surgery just yet.

Time alone was all you needed right now, too tired and weak to try and face your husband. You knew he'd blame himself; you knew he'd worry and you couldn't bring yourself to offer him solace at this time. Flashbacks kept replaying in your mind, so intense you could still feel the heat of the sabers as they collided between you both. Never had you envisioned such a scene unfolding between the two of you. Seeing the memories in your mind felt as though you were watching someone else's life flash before you. 

It wasn't you fighting, it wasn't you trying to hurt him. Rage had become too much and you felt as though you were caged in your own mind. The idea of ever losing control like that again terrified you. It wasn't who you were or who you wanted to be. You couldn't allow yourself to become so consumed in such hate again.

You sighed and rolled over, pressing the button to alert the staff you wanted assistance. There was no point trying to prolong it, you knew he'd hear your thoughts sooner or later and come bursting in anyway. As the nurse entered, you asked her to find your husband and bring him to you. She simply nodded and left at pace to try and find him.

Within minutes Kylo walked in, slowly making his way over to you and sitting on the edge of the bed by your side. His eyes roamed you, examining your broken appearance. Your torso was covered only by bandages securing the stitches and protective covering over your wound. Skin was still pale as your body slowly accepted the blood given to you during your surgery. When his eyes met yours, his heart skipped a beat. Those beautiful shining orbs he loves so much, never truly losing their hopeful glimmer as you had finally been freed of the cage. He could see life and love in your eyes, their shine reminding him of who you really were. Silence, only the faint beeping of the heart rate monitor attached to you filled the air. Neither of you knew what to say, or how to approach what happened. His hand rested on top your yours, fingers playing with the rings that sat on your small digit. He smiled, running his finger over them as his eyes never left yours. A smile rested on your lips as his hand reached up to your cheek. Your head leant into his touch, letting him hold you up as your eyes closed while your body relaxed. A calm hum left you as Kylo's fingers slowly brushed through your hair; the feeling so soothing it almost put you to sleep. Pecking his wrist, your eyes met once again as he leant down to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"There's my pretty girl" his eyes held so much pain as he looked down at the bandages surrounding your waist. "What am I going to do with you, my beautiful little one. Always getting into trouble." You reached for him, hand resting on his thigh as he spoke. "I thought I lost you my dear, I really did." A finger delicately grazed over the dressing, sighing as he looked back up to you. "For the first time, I really saw life slowly slipping from my grasp as the thought of losing you became real. Even when you were gone for so long, when you were in the arms of another man... I knew you'd come back to me. But this time, it really felt like you were gone. Gods," he paused, focus being consumed as he looked to your gaze and losing his train of thought as you hung on his every word, "those eyes of yours get me every time." A blush met the surface of your cheeks, smiling and stroking his leg as he spoke. You could see something was troubling him, his gaze distracted by something in his mind.

"Nothing comes above you my love... nothing. My position means nothing when compared to our bond. I didn't mean what I said, you will forever be my only priority. My wife, my entire life force." You nodded gently, moving your hand to rest on his as it sat by your wound.

"I don't want to be a fighter Kylo... not anymore." His head tilted, watching as your face became serious. "My role is protecting you, supporting you. It's not on the battlefield, it's by your side. I don't want to go places and do things without you. I want to be with the people, teaching the next generation and helping those less fortunate. You are the fighter, the warrior..." you sighed, squeezing his hand. "I don't want to lose control again. Please don't make me, don't let me." Kylo carefully leant over you, arm supporting him on the opposite side of your body as his forehead rested on yours. 

"That's my girl." He smiled and kissed you slowly, lips parting as your hand tangled into his hair. You hummed as his tongue ran over your bottom lip, relaxing into his touch as the kiss washed away any pain left in your body. Breaking the kiss, Kylo sat up again and ran his thumb over your lip. "You know I serve you princess; whatever you want you can have. I don't want to see you hurt ever again, so you will stay with me always. I will shield you from the cruelties of this existence. I will watch over you whatever you decide you want to do."

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AN: hey guys, its me! 

I posted a little life update on my Instagram, but just in case y'all didn't see I thought I'd put it here. My mum tested positive for covid, and there's a good chance I've got it too. This means that, because of my immune system, I could get very sick very quickly. 

Because of this, I may disappear for a little while if I become too weak. Don't worry, this story will be finished and uploaded as soon as I can, but updates may be a little spaced out for a while. 

I'm happy to say we've reached the halfway mark of FTE! There's about 46 chapters, maybe more if I split some up. But I'm so excited to go on this journey with you all