For the Emperor

Chapter 4

Two years had passed, and life had moved on. 

You were over him. At least, that's what you told yourself. You loved your new life, your new love, your new home. For a while you felt him still in your mind, as if he was watching to know where you'd gone. But you learnt to block him out and moved on. How could you hold on when he cast you out so coldly?

Thomas wasn't like that, Thomas showed you love. He listened, he protected, and he made you his entire world. And you loved him. 

At least you told yourself you did. 

Your new life together was happy and peaceful. Everything was peaceful. You couldn't have found someone more opposite to Kylo if you tried. Thomas had curly blonde hair, not much taller than you but still broad. He was soft spoken, gentle and humble. His energy was so refreshing and always made you happy when you were in his presence. Whenever Thomas touched you, it was soft and caring. He was always cautious not to push your boundaries and helped you battle your inner demons in any way he could.

There was no more Resistance, no more fighting. Since you left, Emperor Ren had solidified his position and brought harmony to the entirety of his domain. Maybe it was true; maybe you were the distraction that was holding him back. While your conscious mind moved on, your heart could not let go so easily. 

The dreams and flashbacks never stopped. You told your new friends they did, you told Thomas they did. But every night, your body and mind craved him again and again. Over and over. You felt his gloved hands, his hot breath every time you closed your eyes. Nothing has ever come close to what he did to your body. But you would never speak it, never admit it to anyone, not even yourself.

The farm was perfect, it was practical and gave you plenty to fill your days with. You adored the animals, spending most of your time caring for them. Every part of it was built by the man who picked you up off the street as he rode by that night, never expecting to bring a lost soul home from the market.

He saw you injured, broken and alone, and took you in. He didn't see your exposure as weakness, he saw someone who deserved love and kindness. Since that night, Thomas has given you the world and your heart kept beating because of him. You shared every dark terror, every distant memory and everything that had happened to you during your time in the arms of the most powerful man in the galaxy. Nearly every memory... You could never admit to him that your mind still craved the man that had cast you into the streets where Thomas found you.

It'd been months since you last went to the capital. You avoided it as much as possible; the memories were just too much. Many of the townspeople still knew your face, knew your past. Their looks and whispers broke you every step you took down those busy streets. In the years since you'd left, you only visited a handful of times. 

Thomas had needed supplies for his farm and had asked you to spend the day with him. You couldn't bring yourself to turn down another trip; you'd run out of excuses to stay behind.

The streets were busier than usual, an excited rumble amongst the crowds made you uneasy. As Thomas began trading with a merchant, you heard chanting and clapping erupt from the crowds. Turning, your heart dropped as you saw the imperial procession emerge from the horizon. Rows of storm troopers marched as the senate stood on the moving platform. A scene you used to know and love, now filling your heart with anxiety and dread.

Falling to the floor, gripping your temples as pain shot through your brain, your knees collided with the cold stone of the pavement. A faint cry left your lips, alerting Thomas and causing him to drop just as quickly to your side. You knew what the pain was, and you feared what was going to follow. Shaking and crying, you couldn't push the pain out. You were too close; his power had a greater effect when you were in such close proximity. Too scared to fight it anymore, you gave up and allowed the pain to fill you, ears ringing as tears spilled from your eyes. The ringing forcing your eyes shut as you barely registered the hands of your loved one embracing you and picking you up from the floor.