"Why can't you sleep?" I ask a simple question.
Silence, it only lasts a minute or two but feels like ages.
"Because everytime I close my eyes I see you leaving my bed in the middle of the night, I hear you breathing through the telephone, your sile...
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-Lucy Urbinati-
Day 71
The wind is cold and travels with fervor through the tall trees, making them dance along as if the wind itself was whistling a classical song through the falling leaves, making its way to the back of my mind, like a background song, and crashing against my face.
The sky is a deep shade of blue, almost black with a few specks of white. The stars are as bright as the moon as it shines down on us, and on the frigid water.
My hair flies all around me and dances with the wind just like the leaves, it sticks to my face as the tears keep on rolling down my pink cheeks like a dreadful cascade, crashing down my neck to mix with the dried blood that sticks to my skin, like an unforgiving riptide. My chest heaves with frantic breaths and I have to narrow my eyes to look at them through my blurry vision, only to see their weapons pointed at me, fingers on the triggers as if ready to shoot.
They all stop in their tracks to look at me with their wide eyes as I stand on the edge of the cliff. All of them looking at the wretched girl covered in blood, the girl who lost everything, who lost herself, who swore to never go down without a fight, and she fought alright, but she fought enough. And now she can only go down.
I look over my shoulder to see the void behind me, hearing the waves crash against the rocks at the bottom of the cliff, and the sight creates a shiver down my spine. The water comes in wild waves, angrily and violently crashing down against the sharp rocks as if it was trying to break them, or maybe just taunting me, daring me to taste its saltiness, to feel it's iciness pierce through my already cold skin like a thousand blades, or burn my lungs like vicious acid.
A few sobs escape my lips and my tears fall on their own, because I know that if I jump I'll be done for. The rocks will break my bones down and crush my body into a hopeless sack of broken bones and bleeding flesh. The only way out of this is death, it's the only solution.
But when I turn back around to look at them, their rageful eyes stare right back into my fearful ones, because I'm terrified. I'm so fucking scared, I thought I overcame my problem with height, with death, but apparently I didn't.
I'm also scared because I remembered absolutely everything, the college party, meeting him for the first time ever and not knowing that he'd change my life forever, the fight with Kayla, what Matt did to me, giving my necklace to Louis, I remembered the password. I'm scared because I finally used it, I asked for help but I don't know if he's even going to come and find me. Because after everything that I did, I figured that he must hate me too, just like the rest of my family. All of this shit is all my fault after all. For the first time since I left them, I'm scared out of my mind because this is it, there's no escaping this situation, I'm gonna die, it's finally the end.
