Ephemeral //H.S

Chapter 67

-Harry Styles-

It's starting to rain down on us, the wind is picking up and it's getting colder. I'm high as fuck and I wouldn't have it any other way. Devon and I just shared a joint and she's really out of it, she keeps giggling for no reason, I can clearly tell that isn't used to feeling that way. But what I didn't tell her is that I took a couple pills before or smoke session, for no reason really but just because, if I'm getting high I might as well do it correctly.

"Guys." I hear Louis' voice from behind me but don't acknowledge him, Devon leans her head back to look at him as he walks towards us, lying on the grass like two idiots. But there's nothing else to do, we're out of resources. Niall is probably watching tv with Finn and Alice, I have no idea what Louis was doing, at least Dev and I decided to have so fun for once, it's been too fucking long since she's laughed that hard.

"Hey babe you're upside down." She giggles again and Louis sighs before crouching down in front of her.

"You're a fucking mess, why would you do that?" He groans, pulling her into a seating position. He glares at me as if it was my fault she was high, as if I had forced her to smoke.

"Cause I'm sad Louis, I miss her an- and we can't do anything to help her." She sniffles, her eyes tearing up as she looks at him.

"I know, but maybe we can now." He tells her as she leans her head on his shoulder.

"Liam and Zayn are here." He says and my head snaps towards him, my eyes narrowed and lips parted in shock. He was already staring at me with dark eyes before I even glanced in his direction. I'm used to it by now because he always looks at me like that, he doesn't even get mad at me anymore but just silently hates me. I know they can all see the state I'm in most days, but I don't really care.

"The fuck?" I groan, he carefully picks Dev up from the ground and helps her walk back inside the house, not saying anything else, not glancing back at me. "Louis what the fuck?" I say as I stand up from the ground with difficulty, something falls out of my hoodie pocket and I groan while leaning down to pick up the leather bound journal that I now carry on me at all times, for absolutely no reason other than the fact that it's the only way I can see her face at times when she was happy, read the words she wrote in her perfectly neat handwriting and remember how she used to feel about us.

My eyes stay fixated on that journal for a while as I hold it in my hand, until I remember that I need to go back inside the house we've lived in for the past few months now. We've debated on whether we should go back to the states or not, but the thing is that we have no idea where she is. We know that Russel took her away, because I saw it with my own eyes. I witnessed him betray me once again, using Amanda against me. I know that she tried to fight him because I heard and saw it all by the window as Amanda and Russel's bodyguards held me at gunpoint until she was too far away from me to be able to catch up to her. I saw her fight him, I saw the car coming to a harsh stop in the middle of the driveway, I saw her shadow inside the car as she tried to get away and her body going limp as her head was banged against the window, which is an image I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forget.

What we don't know is what Russel made her do, for all we know she could be with Roman back in New York, used as a bait to get Giorgio to come and get her there, or she could be here in Italy doing god knows what. These are the only options, because we couldn't figure out what else Russel could possibly want from her. So we decided to stay here and wait until we had something, because even if we went back to the states it wouldn't be as safe as it is here for Devon and the twins. And going back would feel like giving up, even if I say that we're going nowhere, that we can't find out anything, not a single trace of her or what her next move could be, I can't go back until we find her. And when we do I'm never letting her leave my sight again, I want to be able to trust her like I used to, but it's different now, she's not who she used to be and neither am I, so it's going to take a while for me to trust her again.