Ephemeral //H.S

Chapter 4

I stare at the white envelope for what feels like ages but it couldn't have been longer than a few seconds. I quickly shuffle the letters to see another that was from the same place and another one that was from a hospital in New York.

I feel a lump forming in my throat, my hands suddenly feeling damp and shaky and my teeth sinking into my lower lip. I look up to see Devon no longer holding a look of disappointment but of confusion. I walk back into the house to put the envelopes on the coffee table before exiting the house and locking the front door behind me.
I slowly get into the passenger seat, buckling my seat belt without looking at her for a few seconds while I try to eliminate the lump in my throat.

"What's wrong?" She asks, her arms falling to her laps she tilts her head while looking at the side of my head.

I shake my head, smiling before turning my head to look at her.
"Just mail from the law firm and the hospital."

"It's probably old paperwork, I can open it when we get back if you don't want to." She suggests with a slight frown on her face but her voice is reassuring, so I shake my head before crossing my arms against my chest and leaning back into my seat.

"No, it's fine."

She doesn't say anything for a while and turns the engine on before backing out of the driveway. She starts driving down the long straight road, and I turn my head to the side to look at the trees outside my window.

I get lost for a few seconds, but then notice from the corner of my eye Devon glancing at me a few times while biting on her lip and squinting.

That means she really wants to say something.

"Okay, just spit it." I break the silence, sighing in exasperation, my arms dropping to my laps and slightly turning in my seat to face her side.

"I'm sorry but what just happened with the curly guy?" she asks, looking away from the road and to my face for a second to see my frown.

"What are you talking about? And his name is Harry." I shake my head before looking back at the road in front of us, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"Lucy, I know you. Unless that magically changed overnight but I know you don't like to talk to people, especially not guys. And I'm not saying that it's a bad thing at all, on the contrary but what was that all about?" she questions and I just shrug my shoulders, not having a real explanation.

She is right though. I used to be way more outgoing before college.
But my life quickly became a shitshow, it's like I was drenched in gasoline and my parent's death was the small flame that caused me to catch on fire. And it's only now that the fire was starting to die down.
Because of that I struggled for so long to talk to people, especially to men. I used to see the good in everyone, but since then, I've developed this gift of seeing through people's bullshit.

And somehow, I am always right.

"I know but... he didn't make me feel like I was in danger. I don't know why." I say quietly, chewing on my lip while trying to remember the green in his eyes, and what it was that made me feel that way, something that didn't trigger my fight or flight reaction.

"Can we just, not talk about it?" I add, my hands fidgeting with the bottom of my dress as I keep my stare on my fingers.

"We don't have to, it's okay." She answers, nodding in understanding while turning the radio on. I look at her, smiling to myself as she starts singing.

She sang like an idiot all the way to the grocery store and she managed to change my mind and make me laugh, like she always does. She took her sweet time in the store though, only putting healthy things in the cart while also managing to take everything that I put in it, out and back on the shelves.
I honestly think that she is trying to send me a message here. But at least she let me buy my usual sugary cereals and a bag of popcorn.