Ephemeral //H.S

Chapter 66

-Harry Styles-

July 12th

"Hey, remember that second time we met?" I turn my head sideways to see Dev lying on the grass right next to me, her hands on her stomach as she stares at the sky with narrowed eyes, or maybe it's just the way her eyes are right now. She chuckles, not even looking at me as I exhale the heavy smoke, almost laughing as well. I hand her the perfectly rolled joint we've been smoking for the past five minutes.

"No? I can't remember what I did yesterday." She takes it from my hand before inhaling a long drag that almost makes her cough as she starts laughing a little harder. "M'serious, what happened yesterday? Do you remember cause I don't?" I shrug, looking back up at the dark sky littered in stars as my laughter fades.

"Nothing, jack shit Dev, we did fucking nothing yesterday wanna know why?" I take it back from her hand and keep on smoking, feeling my head getting lighter yet heavier at the same time.

"Tell me why Harry." She giggles.

"Cause I figured it out."

"You figured what out?"

"She doesn't wanna be found. She promised she wouldn't leave again, she promised she'd talk to me but she didn't, she just fucking left again. Maybe she realized that she's better off without me, that she doesn't need someone as weak as me. Because I promised her that I would help her, I promised her that so fucking long ago but look at me." I laugh, staring at the night sky even though the last thing I feel like doing right now is laugh. "If it's not pills then it's this, I don't even like smoking weed but it's my last resort. I'm the weak one, she doesn't need me, she never did and she realized it just now. She's got me wrapped around her fucking finger, she probably doesn't even knows it but I do. And if I'm honest that's okay with me, because she's the only thing that's kept me fucking alive for these past eleven months. She can survive without me, but I can't fucking breathe without her."

Her laughter dies down into complete silence.

"And what about that second time we met?" Her voice is small, she finally turns her head to look at me but I keep on looking up.

"You told me not to hurt her because she had already been through so much." I chuckle under my breath, slightly shaking my head. "And you wanna know what I told you after that?" I see her shaking her head from the corner of her eyes.

"That she'd be the one to destroy me." I clear my throat and suddenly that void inside my chest just gets deeper and stronger, almost swallowing me whole.  "And I think she's just about to."

...

-Lucy Urbinati-

July 14th, 16:30

"Bella, they're ready for you." I hear Matteo's voice from behind the door as he urges me to leave his bathroom and I groan.

"I'll be out in a second!" My voice is strained and I can't seem to catch my breath as I gag over the toilet bowl, trying to be as quiet as possible.

The shower water is still running, I push my wet hair away from my face and place my hand on my chest, trying my best to calm the frantic beating of my heart and hoping that my breathing will calm down as well. I flush the toilet and try my best to stay quiet as I wipe my teary eyes and get back up to enter the shower again, this time turning the water to the coldest temperature out of habit. I don't even gasp anymore when the frigid cold water hits my skin, instead I sigh in relief at the shock it gives my body. Sound disappears for a moment, my earring is muffled as if the water hitting the floor was just radio static, I think I hear the sound of his fist pounding against the door again but I ignore it.