"Why can't you sleep?" I ask a simple question.
Silence, it only lasts a minute or two but feels like ages.
"Because everytime I close my eyes I see you leaving my bed in the middle of the night, I hear you breathing through the telephone, your sile...
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"But why?" I ask timidly, burying my hands in the pocket of my hoodie I watch as he walks back to me before closing the door behind him, now wearing a black t-shirt.
"Why not?" He answers with a shrug of his shoulders, looking down at me with his furrowed brows before he starts walking away, leaving the scent of his cologne behind him. It was woodsy and warm, also kind of sweet, but mostly expensive. I don't think I've ever known someone that smelled that good. It almost made me lightheaded. I just stand there, anchored on my feet and weak in the knee with the reminiscences of his smell and watch as his long legs carry his body, his back facing me.
He stops in his track when he notices I'm not following him before turning on his heels to face me, an eyebrow raised.
"Aren't you coming?" He asks and I look over my shoulder for a second, a long sigh escapes my lips and I finally look back to meet his gaze.
"I don't- where did you want to go?" I start with the intent to refuse but stop myself mid sentence. I don't mind being next to him, I kind of enjoyed it the few times it happened which wasn't a lot. But there still is something about him that makes me want to go with him. It's just a walk after all.
He looks at my conflicted state, taking a step towards me with his fingers running through his brown locks and he clears his throat.
"Just around the lake. It's okay if you don't want to, you just look like you need to clear your mind." He simply adds, green orbs looking into mine when I slightly look up, chewing on the inside of my cheek. I give him a small nod before I even get the opportunity to get lost just by looking into his eyes.
So we both start walking, with my hands in my pockets, my eyes automatically look at the ground. My feet hit the ground and I notice the effort I have to make to keep up with him, he has really long legs so every step he takes I have to take two. I glance at him and he doesn't even look like he's trying to walk fast, just like he's taking a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood.
We don't talk for a while, the both of us too focused on the sounds around us, the birds chirping in the trees and our feet hitting the ground and occasionally crushing leaves.
Or maybe were just both lost in our own minds.
Some people would find this silence really uncomfortable, but I find it really peaceful. Well today at least I find it peaceful, because for some reason his presence next to mine feels calming. And I don't feel the need to fill in with useless conversation; like talking about the weather or our favorite color, which I don't even know if I have one.
It's not that I don't want to know him, it's definitely the contrary actually, but for now I don't think I'm capable of having a random chitchat.
I know that it hasn't really hit me yet, and I need to have confirmation from my grandma obviously. But still, after six years I thought that this time I would really be able to move on and start to live for myself. And I wish that it was just what I hoped it would be, a goodbye letter.
