Ephemeral //H.S

Chapter 46

This is a double update make sure to read chapter 45 first

Trigger Warning: drug abuse.

-L

-
-

-Harry Styles-

On day 43 I was still staring at that screen, my eyes were burning, my skin was itching and my hands were shaking, I knew that taking those pills two days before had been a bad idea because after that I needed a new fix. But I couldn't bring myself to step away from the computer, I just couldn't look away from her. She looked so fucking miserable, and there was nothing I could do to help. Just like me, she didn't sleep at all which was worrying me to no extent. But then something happened, the same guy who had helped her with a breathing tube and an IV came back into her room, and I thought that my eyes were deceiving me because her lips were moving, she was looking at him and talking. It gave me a flicker of hope to see that she was able to talk, but it didn't last because a few seconds later she broke down crying. Her hands were clutching her stomach, it looked like she had even more difficulty to breathe as the tears kept on flowing down her face, breaking my heart even more. And after so many hours of crying she simply stopped, and she was back to being numb again. My brain was torturing me because I had so many question, as to what could have made her cry so hard, why was she clutching her stomach like that? Was she hurt? Did she have a wound there?

That day I was also forced to look away from the screen when Niall knocked on the door, because he had forgotten his key to the house. He looked at me with guilt in his eyes, a box wrapped in shiny paper in his hand but I quickly got back to the couch to look at her again. He sat next to me and handed me the box, looking down at the screen as well.

"Amanda got you this, I'm sorry we forgot about your birthday." He said and I shook my head.

"I forgot too." I admitted and he frowned, but I didn't feel like elaborating.

He probably assumed it was because Belle was on my mind, but in reality I was dead asleep, sleeping in her bed just to feel close to her, high as fuck because of these fucking pills. My birthday was the least of my concerns, because she was my priority, even if there was nothing I could do to get to her. I could see her, analyze her feature, but I couldn't hear her or touch her, I couldn't be with her. I wondered if she knew it had been my birthday, if maybe she thought about me, I know that if she had been there she would've made this mundane day a special one for me. But I doubted she even knew where she was, or what day it was, she looked so lost.

Niall stayed with me all day that day, he could tell I was so exhausted but I physically couldn't bring myself to move or look away, even if I knew that my pills were waiting for me in her room, where I had left them two days ago. When he saw me dozing off he told me to at least go take a nap and that he would watch her for me, and wake me up if she even moved a little bit. It took a lot of convincing for me to accept his offer, but I trusted him. So I went back to my room and showered, my entire body ached because I really needed my fucking pills, at least they would make me sleep properly and dream about her, but I knew that I couldn't because if I took them and something happened to her, I wouldn't be able to wake up. And I didn't want Niall to know. So I showered and got in my bed, it took a while but I somehow ended up falling asleep for a few hours which felt really fucking good, but never has good as it felt when she was against me.

And every day that followed where the same, I would sleep for a couple of hours while someone would watch her for me. I remember one day when Devon almost broke my door down and woke me up, my eyes were barely open as I stumbled through the living room and towards the laptop, only to see the guy I assumed was a doctor at this point, placing a tube through her nose, a feeding tube. I winced for her but she didn't even flinch, she looked so fucking weak and tired I was glad they were doing something about it, even if I hated the way they were doing it, at least she wasn't gonna starve to death. After that I stayed awake for two days just watching her, I could tell she felt sick at first because of it, but as the days went on I could physically see that she was gaining a little bit of weight back, because she was starting to look unhealthily thin.