FNAF on Drugs: Bonnie on Crack, 5 Nerds at Freddy's, and other jacked-up stories

The Nerds and Co. Go To the Park

ONCE UPON A DAY IN DRUGSVILLE, NC:
Naz (opens the door to a #rekt white van): Okay guys, were here!
Chica (looking around): Wow, this place is real nice.
Freddy: Hey, Bonnie, what's that? *points at a cottontail rabbit*
Lauren: That's a bunny.
Bonnie (shocked): I thought I was a bunny!
Author: This is going to be hard to explain.
Clueless: Okay, so what do we do first?
Human: The irony.
Naz (points at the swing set): ONWARD
*the nerds rush off towards the swings*
Foxy (arm around Mike's waist): Wow, that got them out of our hair quickly.
Mike (points at a conveniently placed thick tree): So... *smirk*
Foxy: You just read my mind.
*the two disappear behind the tree, until...*
Author: HALP MEH.
Foxy: Oh no.
Mike: What did you do now, author?
Author (from inside a tree): IM STUCK
Naz: She jumped.
Foxy (standing at the base of the tree): Don't jump, you've got nothing to live for! Wait...
Mike (slaps Foxy's arm): Dude!
Foxy: Sorry! (Not)
Mike: Figures you'd say that.
Human: I have an idea.
Naz: and that is...?
Human (puts in a pair of shades): EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP
Naz: Are you kidding me
(Author flops out of the tree and lands face-first)
Human: The funny thing is, she seems unaffected by the whole thing. *pokes Author with a stick*
Freddy: HALP
Goldie: Oh no.
Bonnie: He's stuck in the tube slide!
Author: Seriously? That's the third time. He really needs to lay off on the nachos...
Freddy (angrily): SHUT UP AND GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Bonnie: This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't tried to shove Chica, Freddy Fatbear!
Freddy: WHAT
*tube slide explodes*
Author: That, ladies and gentlemen, is called RÆGĘ.
Freddy: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU
*Freddy and Bonnie start chasing each other*
Author: this is boring.
World: *explodes*
THE END