FNAF on Drugs: Bonnie on Crack, 5 Nerds at Freddy's, and other jacked-up stories

There's More Than One Problem With This

ONE DAY:
*all the Nerds and animatronics with the exception of Author are sitting in a circle*
Black: Guys, do you know how hard it would be living in a world where Author is the president?
*everyone groans*
Human: Don't even SAY that, Black.
Naz: Commence GTA V!
Freddy: Lord, don't even get me started on what she did to ((my)) Bonnie.
Bonnie (curled up in a ball on the floor and shaking like mad): Speeding kills speeding kills speeding kills...
Freddy: See?
Foxy: All I know is, whatever Mexicans let her have that van of hers must have been on some of Chica's cocaine, and needs to have it revoked.
Chica: How does everyone know about that stuff?!
Mike: Um, let's see: There's only about eleven of us here, not counting Black, so secrets aren't exactly secrets for very long.
Chica (folds arms over her chest): Humph. I see. *menacingly glares at Goldie*
Goldie: WHAT!?
Chica: Don't act like you didn't do anything.
Goldie (pauses to think for a second): ...other than YOUR MOM!
Chica: You slept with the boss?!
Everyone: WOAH TOO FAR MAN
Black (shoots a fireball at Goldie, immediately shutting him up): Anyway, where is she?
Author (out in the back with her earbuds in): Music is like alcohol to me.
THE END