FNAF on Drugs: Bonnie on Crack, 5 Nerds at Freddy's, and other jacked-up stories

BBQ at the Park! ((This is gonna be interesting...))

ONE DAY:
Naz (opens a door to a #rekt white van): We're here!
Foxy (looking around): Isn't this the same park where Author got stuck in a tree?
Bonnie (snickers): And where Freddy got stuck in the slide?
Chica (pointing at the slide's wreckage): They STILL haven't fixed it! #rekt, m8!
APH Author (eye roll): When did you become a gangster?
APH Human: Let's go shoot guns at police officers and run away.
Human: You dare-devil dumb@$$! You'll get us killed, or at least arrested!
Naz: I'll fire up the barbecue!
Freddy: What's that?
Goldie: Cooking with outdoor fire. Don't get too close.
Freddy: Fine.
LATER
(The Nerds minus Naz are hanging out on the swings, the APHs are doing to opposite of what their Nerd counterparts would be doing, and the animatronics are just kinda hanging out)
Naz: Oi, this grill's gettin' HAWT! Better be careful where you're standing, Freddy!
Freddy (standing less than 3 inches from the grill): Chill out, Naz, I'll be fine.
*part of Freddy's apron catches fire*
Freddy: There's literally nothing to worry about, my clothing is completely flame proOOOF
Naz: He's on fire!
Freddy (jumping around and screaming like an idiot): GET IT OFF! GET THE STRANGE ORANGE DEMONS OFF OF ME!
Human: Dude, that's fire!
Foxy: Quit bouncing around, you're just making it worse!
Naz (grabbing a stainless steel bucket): I'll get some water to put out the fire! *runs off to a lake to get some water but accidentally puts a duck in the bucket*
Naz (pouring water on Freddy): HERE YA GO~!!!
Duck: QUACK QUACK QUACK
Freddy (screaming VERY loudly): JEEZUS CHRIST NO NOT A DUCK!!!
Naz: uhh...
Freddy: I'm scared of ducks! That's why I'm not dating CHICA!
Chica: HEY!
Foxy and Mike: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH~!
Freddy (angry): Hey, look who's talkin', Mike, you're the one who's dating the animatronic fox!
Mike: SHUT UP!
APH Naz: Would anyone like to make some anti-marijuana joke posters?
Naz: Why are you still here?
Clueless: BECAUSE BUS.
*miraculously no bus comes...

It just starts raining time bombs.*
THE END