FNAF on Drugs: Bonnie on Crack, 5 Nerds at Freddy's, and other jacked-up stories

Author's Logic

This story was recommended to me by Danidt while we were at Discovery Place and crack-ing jokes about weed.

I am awful.
Anyway, enjoy.
•••
ONCE UPON A TIME:
(All the nerds and animatronics except Author are standing atop a skyscraper)

Foxy: So we're the h£ll is Author?
Naz: Dude, you really need to break your swearing habits, this is a PG story.
Foxy: Then how are you and Author the Blonde allowed to make jokes about weed?
Naz (puts on sunglasses): Because we can actually crack a good set of jokes on that sh*t.
Foxy: OH MY GAWD WHERE'S MIKEY AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!
Mike: right here.
Foxy: If only we had a closet.
Clueless: SO HAS ANYONE EVER WONDERED WHY WE DIE WHEN AUTHOR SAYS 'BUS'?!
Everyone (collective gasp): OMG SHE SAID IT NOW WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!
(Everyone waits for, like, an HOUR and nothing happens)
Lauren: Why aren't we dead yet?...
Author (appears): Because weed.
Human: WOAH! There you are, bro, we've been looking all over!
Author: Aw, thanks. And what the h£ll are we doing on top of a skyscraper?
Foxy: See Naz she gets to swear!
Naz: Right, but it's censored.
Foxy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME
Mike: Let's get away from these people.
Foxy (takes his hand): Of course. *sexy smirk*
Author (whistles): Daaaaaaaaayum.
Foxy: SHUT UP BLONDIE.
Author: Meanie. For that I shall say BUS.
*bus comes out of nowhere and kills everyone until the next episode cuz MAGIC*
Author (puts on Naz's sunglasses): You shall never know my secret, b!atch.
THE END