Heaven From Here

thirty six

"You need to tell him, Hanna!" Layla whispered harshly as she helped Hanna into the bed once they had reached her room.

"Lala, please not now," Hanna almost pleaded. Her eyes heavy with tears as she clutched her phone tightly.

"No, this is insane," Layla whispered forcefully. "What the hell do you get from keeping this from him? You two are married for crying out loud!"

"Layla, please...I just need my understanding, non-pushy best friend right now," Hanna sniffed softly.

Layla sighed heavily and slid under the covers next to her, cuddling her best friend. "I'm sorry Hanna-banana. We'll talk about this when you feel better, okay?"

"Okay," Hanna muttered as she sniffed quietly.

There was a pregnant pause before Layla blurted, "I think I like Syafiq...more than just a colleague...or a boss...." Swallowing nervously, Layla waited for Hanna's reaction. "Hanna...?" she called softly.

She felt Hanna shift in her arms, struggling to face her. When Hanna finally faced her, she studied Layla's face quietly.

"Please say something?" Layla croaked miserably.

"...Are you looking for my approval?" Hanna asked gently.

"No...I just...," Layla huffed staring at the ceiling, not knowing how to put her feelings into words.

"...Scared?" Hanna asked, as she licked her chapped lips.

"Fucking terrified!" she exclaimed not brave enough to meet her best friend's gaze.

"Is it bad, to like him?" Hanna asked, as she struggled to stay awake, the second dose of paracetamol that Saif has pressed on her at home starting to take effect.

"It's not bad, but...-"

"It's new, and it's terrifying. It's like falling off a precipice without a safety net, isn't it?" Hanna mumbled lowly.

"Yes, that. All of the above," Layla grumbled. "Is that how you feel? Hanna? Hanna?" Layla found her breathing evenly with her eyes closed. "...I think we need to save this conversation for when you are not almost comatose."

Hanna sleepily mumbled her agreement before allowing sleep to claim over her as she snuggled deeper into her pillows.

When Hanna opened her eyes again, she felt incredibly disoriented that she forgot where she was. Are we still in Amsterdam?, she thought in a daze. She could pick up hints of Saif's cologne that lingered in the linen of the sheets. Although she was almost 100% sure she fell asleep in her own room with Layla.

"How are you feeling?" she heard Saif say in the darkness, his features illuminated by the backlight of his phone before he flicked on the bedside lamp.

"Thirsty," she croaked and watched as he slowly got up and knelt by her bedside as he pressed a glass of cool water in her hands. She couldn't look away as she slowly sipped her water.

"This isn't my room," she said slowly, carefully studying Saif's reaction.

"No," he said after he cleared his throat, he continued his eyes downcast, "I needed you close by...to keep an eye on you..."

Hanna nodded slowly. "Saif...," she began slowly, "I...I'm hungry," she blurted. Chicken, the word sounded like a taunt in her head.