Heaven From Here

forty one

The clocked ticked in the quiet, the mechanical sounds punctuating the silence that blanketed the house. Hanna fully dressed sat on the couch, in her comfiest travelling clothes and two large luggage bags that were waiting for her by the door. Her mind that hadn't rest since Saif stormed out was finally silent, exhausted on its own as it kept replaying that day. The chain of events of how everything was destroyed.

She saw him when he had come to the house, his eyes lowered, without looking at her. He acknowledged that she existed, but that was all; she existed, but meant nothing to him. And that broke her even more.

It hurt her worse knowing that she didn't mean anything than thinking about how he couldn't love her other than just a friend. At least, then she still held a place in his heart, his life. All those kisses they shared, those touches; seemed as though they were wiped clean from his conscience. But for Hanna, they were on constant repeat as thought hell bent on torturing her.

She was jarred out of her thoughts as something warm brushed against her skin. Looking at her feet, she smiled softly at the kittens that looked up at her with alert yellow eyes. Before she could even reach down to pet them, they scurried under the sofa. As she straightened up, Hanna heard the sound of the doorbell and slowly walked over to the doorway.

She smiled half-heartedly as she saw Syaffiq, her gaze automatically going behind him in search of a glimpse of Saif. She couldn't help the disappointed that was painted all over her face. She clenched her jaw and swallowed before looking at Syaffiq, and hurt slashed her heart as he shook his head slowly, "He didn't come Babhi."

Hanna nodded steely and walked out of the house, leaving Syaffiq to pick up her luggage bags. She looked down at her feet and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other as she walked to the car. She barely registered when Syaffiq started the engine and when he stopped; jumping slightly as he tapped her on the shoulder, signaling it was time to go.

"Bhabhi, are you sure you want to take the train? I...I really don't feel comfortable letting you go like this...," he trailed, as they navigated the crowded train station. "I still have the money-,"

"No," Hanna said curtly, as she weaved through people rushing to and from their trains. "I don't want your brother's money."

"Anything Bhabhi for you to please take a flight? Or maybe just postpone your trip?" he pleaded, as he jogged slightly to keep up with Hanna.

Hanna stilled and turned to Syaffiq suddenly where he almost bumped into her, "Call Layla. But don't do it for me, for your Bhai, or for anyone else. Be selfish Syaffiq and call her. Whatever happened between Saif and I, is just that, between Saif and I. No one else needs to be punished for it."

He nodded slightly before she turned away and continued walking toward her train platform. Syaffiq sighed and followed her with her bags, his heart heavy knowing that there was nothing that he could do to mend this. This was not in his hands at all. Spotting Hanna in her favourite nude hijab by the seats, he walked up to her and left the bags at her feet.

"You can leave now, Syaffiq. I'll be fine," she said quietly.

"But Bhabhi-"

"Please go," she almost pleased, as tears gathered in her eyes. Syaffiq nodded reluctantly and slowly walked away. He paused when he heard her call her name.

"Your brother's house keys...those are still with me," Hanna sniffed, her nose pinkening as she tried to keep her emotions in check.

Syaffiq shook his head, "Keep it Bhabhi, just in case,"; and kept on walking to his car.

Hanna watched as Syaffiq slowly but surely got lost in the crowd. With trembling fingers, she pulled out the envelope that Saif had left for her on the table that morning.

In it were papers finalizing their divorce.

Syaffiq stormed into Saif's house where he found Saif sitting on the sofa, hunched over, his elbows on his knees with this forehead in the palm of his hands.

"Bhabhi already left. I dropped her off at the train station," Syaffiq grated out.

"Do you know that she looked for you when I showed up here to pick her up?" He continued tersely after a beat.

"Do you know that she still hasn't told her father about what happened? That he thinks that you are going with her to Glasgow?" he continued.

"Are you even going to fucking acknowledge anything I said, Bhai?"

"I sent her the divorce papers today," Saif said quietly after a beat.

"You did what?!" Syaffiq raged as he stood in front of his brother. Pacing the floor, he continued, "And she still wanted to see you after she got it? Do you know how big of a wanker you actually are?"

Saif lifted his head up and looked at his brother blankly.

"She's in love with you, you underserving prick!" Syaffiq almost screamed.

"I know that I am underserving of it, which is exactly why I am removing myself from the equation," Saif said calmly, his eyes not betraying his emotions not even once.

Kneeling down, Syaffiq looked straight into his brothers' eyes and said, "Bhai, you are not unlovable...you are not damaged...don't allow whatever that has been said about you dictate your actions today...allow love in Bhai...stop her from going," Syaffiq pleaded, as he gripped his brother's shoulder tightly.

"I can't yaar, I have to let her go...," he trailed.

"But why?" Syaffiq's voice was heavy with frustration.

"Isn't that the saying? If you love someone you let them go?" Saif asked his brother as tears gathered in his eyes.