Heaven From Here

fourteen

Each morning I get up I die a little, can barely stand on my feet

Take a look in the mirror and cry

Lord, what you're doing to me; I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can't get no relief, Lord!

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Somebody to Love, Queen

Saif stood in front of the mirror as he buttoned up his light gold Sherwani. He knew Syafiq was pacing behind him in the hotel room, he could see his brother go back and forth with his hand on his head.

"You're going to wear out the carpet," Saif said blandly as he adjusted his collar.

"Bhai, are you sure you want to go through with this?" Syafiq asked, worry evident in his stance. "You don't have to do this."

"Everyone is waiting for us downstairs. It's time to go," Syafiq said in a monotone as he smoothed down his sherwani and exhaled loudly.

"Hanna, you don't need to do this. When the Imam asks you if you want to marry just say 'No'. It's as simple as that!" Layla exclaimed.

"Layla," Sana hissed, "Are you insane?!"

"No! Hanna didn't do anything wrong, she shouldn't be punished over this!" Layla shot back. "He's a bloody fuckboy, for God's sake!"

"Layla, just shut the fuck up!" Sana snapped, as she shot up from her seat. They were all in the bridal suite a few floors above Saif's room as they waited for Hanna's father to call them down for the nikaah. Hanna sat next to Fatima feeling numb. The sounds of her friends bickering didn't register in her mind as she looked at her hennaed hands. Almost everything pertaining to the wedding, was sorted out by Sana. Sana had all the contacts and she had made all the phone calls.

Hanna looked at the swoops and swirls drawn on her hands and could make out the alphabets 'S-A-I-F' in Arabic letters hidden cleverly amongst the flowers on her palm. When the henna artist had asked the grooms name, Sana had quickly taken Saif's name and spelled it out for her before Hanna even had a chance to protest.

"Oh my God, can the both of you just shut up," Fatima screeched. "Layla...Sana...I know we all love Hanna and want the best for her but screaming at each other minutes before her nikaah is not going to help anyone." Fatima took a deep breathe before continuing, "If both of you can't keep your traps shut, then just take it outside okay?" Both Sana and Layla looked at Fatima with wide eyes, shocked at the words and volume that came out of Fatima's mouth.

Fatima sat next to Hanna and felt Hanna squeeze her hand in gratitude. Fatima grabbed Hanna's ice-cold hand with both her hands and willed it to warm up. Fatima looked at Hanna and couldn't help but blurt out, "Sweetie, you make a really stunning bride."

"MashaAllah" "MashaAllah" Fatima heard both Sana and Layla say sullenly, and shook her head softly. The knock on the suite door had both Sana and Layla run to get it. Hanna knew it was time for her to go downstairs. It was time for her to bind herself, her life, her love, to a man who was in love in someone else.

Hanna was too numb to be surprised at the lack of tears at that thought. She was all cried out, there was nothing left in her. Silently she stood up. Clasping Fatima and Layla's hand she slowly made her way out of the bridal suite towards the event hall with Sana leading the way holding all their bags and phones.