Heaven From Here

fifteen

If only I could wake you up (hold me while you wait)

Hold Me While You Wait, Lewis Capaldi

Hanna could feel her ears burning at the words that were uttered by Hajirah as a silence descended over the dinner table. Hanna glanced over to her right and she could see the restraint that Saif was exercising over his anger as he gripped his spoon tight. Even before reaching his father's house, Saif was already tense as he drove the car in silence. But now, Hanna could feel the anger radiating off of him in waves as he sat completely still next to her.

How did my life reach this point?, Hanna thought morosely. Last night the walima ended as simply as it started. Both the fathers, Sarwar and Bilal Sahab introduced their children to their families and friends. Hanna and Saif smiled courteously while smiling as they sat without touching each other.

It was as if an unspoken agreement that as soon as the walima ended they both retired to their respective rooms. Saif slept in his room, while Hanna had the company of Layla and Fatima. Sana of course went home with Rizuan, although she had promised to meet up with the girls in the morning for brunch. She was beyond thankful that Fatima and Layla had stayed back with her as removing her wedding outfit turned out to be a two person job. Not to mention the multitudes of pins that were all over her head in her hijab and her outfit.

As she stood in the shower the warm water washing over her head, Hanna thought about Saif. She knew that she liked him from the second meeting at her house as he stood glaring at the bushes in the garden. Rinsing out the conditioner in her hair and wrapping herself in one of the fluffy hotel towels, she looked at herself in the mirror as she wiped the steam away. She knew that all this affected Saif as much as it did her, that was the only thing that could explain the exhaustion that she saw in his eyes. She resolved that before being husband and wife, she'll ask Saif if he'd want to try being friends first. It would be a good start right?

As morning came and the girls got ready for brunch, Hanna told them what she had decided on last night and everyone agreed with her. Even Layla agreed reluctantly, calling it a mature decision. It was during brunch that Hanna's phone pinged and she saw a text from Saif. He informed her that they were to check out late from the hotel and from there go straight to the his father's house for an early dinner. Okaying the plan, Hanna continued brunch with the girls and they had informed her that they will help with the moving of Hanna's things to Saif's house. He apparently had a house of his own which was twenty minutes away from Hanna's father's house.

As the girls helped Hanna pack away the rest of the things in the hotel room, Layla kissed her check and said, "Don't worry, we've got this. We'll pick up the spare keys from Syafiq downstairs, get your luggage bags from your dads' and pop all the stuff in the living room, leaving the key in the post box. Right?"

"Right," Hanna said softly. As Layla made a move to leave, Hanna pulled her back, "I'm doing the right thing aren't I? By trying to make this work? By trying to be friends first?" Her friend nodded and pulled Hanna into a hug.

"You are absolutely doing the right thing," Layla muttered, as she pulled back and saw her friends' worried expression. "There's too much bad juju between the two of you for you to jump into a husband and wife, lovey-dovey kind of thing from the get go. Build your relationship with him. Use this time to go on dates; it's all Halal now. You can even kiss him whenever, wherever," Layla joked.

She watched Hanna's face fall, and asked worriedly, "Too soon to joke about kissing?"

"Too soon," Hanna said sadly.