Heaven From Here

seven

And when love is dead

I'm loving angels instead

Angels, Robbie Williams

Saif ducked through the small groups in the living room, greeting them absently as he headed towards the drinks cart. He was dying for a drink, something cool that will seep through his body and calm his raging mind. He was angry; at Awad Sahab, at Hanna, at himself. Why did he even put himself in such a vulnerable position? Why didn't he move away the moment he felt the touch of her fingertips against his jaw. He gritted his teeth, as he saw the cart coming into view before him.

"Bruv, the mixers are in the kitchen," came Syafiq's voice from behind him. Frowning, Saif continued towards the kitchen. Syafiq caught the expression on Saif's face and couldn't help the answering frown on his face. Something was bothering his brother and unless he pried it out of Saif, he would never know what happened.

Syafiq found Saif, leaning against the counter as he chugged a can of Coke. Only stopping when the can was empty. Saif swiped his hand across his mouth to wipe the moisture coating his lips, while the other hand absently crushed the can of Coke. Saif turned away to get another Coke can and Syafiq just watched his elder brother in silence. Although if you wanted to get technical, they were half brothers. Saif and Syafiq shared the same father.

Saif's mother passed away in childbirth and their father remarried so that Saif would have a mother to look after him. What a load of bollocks that was. She had hated Saif so much that even though they were in the same house, it felt like two separate households. One with Saif and their Dadi, the other with Syafiq, his siblings, his mom, and their dad.

Looking at them, it was undeniable that they are brothers. The same dark wavy hair, the same deep dark eyes, the sharp nose, the strong jaw. The only difference is Syafiq almost always had a smile on his lips and mischief twinkling in his eyes, while Saif was more serious and intensity glittering in his eyes.

That too perhaps was one of the reasons that women were so drawn to Saif. They all wanted the thrill of having those intensity focused on them. And once that thrill was lost, they slipped off into the night with someone else. Even now Syafiq noticed a few ladies who just couldn't keep their eyes off Saif. Their eyeballs rolled left to right as they tracked Saif's movements, resting only when he stopped.

Syafiq thumped his brother lightly on his back, "Alright there?"

Saif nodded his head absently. He looked at Syafiq and bumped shoulders with him and said with a small smirk, "Happy Birthday man."

"Thanks," Syafiq said. He knew something was bothering Saif, "You staying till the end yeah? You'll help me clean up yeah?"

"Yeah, no bother," Saif said as he looked at his brother.

Without missing a beat, Syafiq stretched his arm around his brother and gave him a side hug. "Whatever it is, you need to talk about it. I won't ask you to tell me right now, but once you've stewed over it enough tonight, you are going to tell me what's wrong," Syafiq said with finality.

Not in a position to argue, Saif agreed in silence as he nodded his head. He needed to talk this out, however absurd it would sound to his brothers ears. He lifted his Coke can and tapped it with the bottle in Syafiq's hand. "Cheers," he said in acceptance.

Throughout the night, Syafiq kept tabs on his elder brother. He half watched as those women from earlier found some liquid courage and tried flirting with Saif. As the night wore on, the flirting and touches grew bolder. And Syafiq could see that Saif was already at boiling point. Another one of these women tried grabbing Saif and he would snap. To save everyone the drama, Syafiq started winding down the party. He called up Ubers for those who weren't driving, and made sure those who did weren't drunk.

As the house cleared of people Syafiq could visibly see the tension leaving his brother's body. The stiffness in Saif's shoulders lessened as the guests left. Saif started the cleaning; binning the empty bottles and cans, and paper plates scattered around the house. He couldn't help but muse about the times that Syafiq and him threw house parties when their parents would leave for Pakistan, taking all their younger siblings with them. It used to be insane, the worst things to find were used condoms hidden underneath piles of beer bottles and paper plates, sometimes even under the beds in the spare rooms. Due to that they had bought and kept proper cleaning grade rubber gloves and bleach.

"What's putting that smile on your face, bruv?" Syafiq asked, with a wide smile.

"Just thinking about all those house parties we used to throw while in uni," Saif said smiling as he continued picking up the trash.

"Those were epic. Those idiots used to wait for when Mummy and Daddy would leave for Pakistan," Syafiq said as he threw himself down on the couch. He lent back against he cushion and shut his eyes. "Leave it yaar, you've already done so much. I've got a cleaning crew coming in tomorrow to sort out the rest."

"Let me just pop this outside," Saif said, he knew the moment he was in a state of rest, Syafiq would start with his line of questioning. Bracing himself for the onslaught of questions, Saif sat down next to his brother who now had the TV on, with clips of old football matches playing.

"So, what's up?" Syafiq asked nonchalantly.

Saif leaned back into the cushy sofa and hugged a pillow to his chest, biding his time. "Awad Sahab wants me to marry his daughter," he finally said in a measured tone.

"Wait, what?" Syafiq asked as he looked over to his brother, his eyebrow knotted in confusion. "Awad Sahab has a daughter? Since when?"

"Since the last 24 years," Saif replied.

"Okay," Syafiq continued, his eyebrows still knotted. "And what did you say?"

"I...," Saif trailed, I said I was in love with someone else.

"I suppose you said no, that's normal. What was wrong with her?" Syafiq said absently, his attention already shifted back to the TV. The business of parents arranging marriages for their children did not in the least strike his as something out of the ordinary or stressful even. Hell, he's been a part of this circus for the last three years.

"Nothing, I suppose. I don't know. I've barely talked to her," he said. Lies, you've spoken to her enough times to know that she is kind, sweet, and thoughtful.

"How does she look?" Syafiq asked, not realising that what for him was a normal thing, held a huge impact on Saif. It was the first time someone had thought Saif capable enough to be responsible for the happiness of another person. To be responsible for their happiness. To be responsible for their life.

"She...." She kissed me, was what Saif had wanted to say. But he didn't, he didn't want anyone thinking of Hanna in a negative light. Not even his brother who he shared everything with.

"Yaar, you still haven't answered me... How does she look?" Syafiq asked, watching his brother's face intently. Saif had yet to look away from the tele.

"Pari, hoor-pari (Angelic)," Saif said with a straight face as he blankly watched tele; Hanna's face flashing in his mind's eye. 

He met his brothers gave and smirked and they both broke out in guffaws. When they quietened down Saif, realised how apt it was to call Hanna 'Pari'.

***

Pari = Angel