Heaven From Here

twenty nine

Saif looked over his shoulder in silence as he watched Hanna fill up the empty spaces with colour on the black and white printed pages. He cracked his knuckles as he tried not to shift too much in his seat as he studied Hanna's profile.

"I still can't believe you are colouring on the flight," Saif said with amusement lacing his voice. For the past 15 minutes, Hanna had been all too focused on her colouring and he desperately wanted her attention on him.

"Shut up," she elbowed him with a smile on her face. "It's an adult colouring book, and it's therapeutic." Offering up a section of the page, she handed him a bright pink marker and instructed him to colour in the flowers on the page. Saif shook his head and started colouring with her; pausing to look at Hanna and the smile on her lips as she coloured. She had on her favourite nude hijab, paired with a grey fleece lined hoodie and joggers, a dusting of light make up completed her look.

He fell into a rhythm as he coloured thinking about the past week. His heartbeat sped up as he thought about the way Hanna looked; hooded eyes, lips soft and parted as she looked up at him at the sink exactly a week ago. It scared him. It scared him that she could be right, that whatever that was between them could be more than friendship. It scared him that when Hanna wasn't in the room with him, his eyes automatically searched for her. It scared him that when she touched him with the most innocent of touches that his nerve endings sparked and his whole body fires up. It scared him that she was so soft, and he might break her with the hurricane that lives inside him. It scared him that after all this, after seeing him for who he truly is; she might leave him. It scared him that he might never be good enough for her.

"Excuse me, Miss," Saif heard a voice say above him and he looked up to see the steward, staring directly at Hanna.

Raising an eyebrow and with a clenched jaw Saif said, "Can I help you?"

"Sorry Sir, but Miss, can you please stow away the table as we are preparing to land," the steward said with a big grin when he finally caught Hanna's attention. Flustered, Hanna nodded and quickly capped all the marker pens. Saif picked up her colouring book and tucked it into the seat pocket in front of him as he clenched and unclenched his jaw.

Chucking her case of marker pens into her tote, she turned and looked out the window. Craving the feeling of her skin beneath his fingertips, Saif gingerly picked up her left hand and held it, rubbing his thumb across the knuckles, admiring the glint of the wedding rings in the dim lights of the plane. He was so fixated with how her hand felt in his that he missed the shock and the following blush on Hanna's face. She had already continued her admiration of the sky, as she kept her cool, when he finally looked at Hanna.

"You excited?" he asked softly, leaning close to Hanna.

"Very," she said softly as she leaned back towards Saif.

"Tell me what you want to do first; see a strip club, get high like a kite, or visit the red light district?" he murmured as he watched her with rapt attention.

"You remember," she groaned leaning her head on his shoulders, as she covered her face with her hand in embarrassment.

"I do, and you are safe to explore while you are with me. Only with me, Hanna," Saif said, sounding strangely fierce even to his own ears.

He watched as Hanna chewed on the inside of her cheek as she looked at him. "Tell me you understand, Pari," Saif said and waited as she nodded. "I know you have friends in Amsterdam, and I want you to meet them and have fun. But more than that, I need you to be safe. So, whatever it is that you want to explore, you do it with me and only me. Understand?"