Heaven From Here

three

Go easy on my conscious 'cause it's not my fault

I know I've been taught to take the blame

Rest assured my angels will catch my tears

Walk me out of here I'm in pain

Better Man, Robbie Williams

Hanna heard the knock on the door, three raps and then it was quiet. "Come in," said as she paused the tele. Her fingers immediately flew to her hijab, making sure it was still sitting securely around her face. She made a move to get up from the bed when she heard a quiet, "Awad Sahab sent me. Dinner is ready," from the doorway. She looked up to find Saif standing there, all 6 feet of him awkward as he kept evading his gaze from hers.

She frowned, wondering is she should say to him 'Eyes up here, mate'. But that would probably make things even more weird.

"Why did Baba send you up?" she asked sharply, her eyed pinning him down. "He could've just called for me."

Clearing his throat, he said, "Your Baba was busy cooking." She squinted as she watched him take a step back, "I'll let Awad Sahab know you are coming down now," she heard him say quietly.

"It was you, wasn't it? That night, in the ladies' room?" she mused out loud instead and watched as his head snapped up and he looked right at her. Hanna felt that funny, twisty feeling again in her tummy as she looked at him.

His jaw clenched, and he nodded solemnly. "I am really sorry. It was honestly an emergency. I swear I don't go into the ladies room just for kicks. I really am sorry," Saif said, remorse dripping from each word.

"...But the Duchess, she said something about finding you in the ladies again," Hanna frowned at him.

Hanna watched as Saif rubbed his palm on the scruff on his jaw. She could tell that this was a nervous habit and cocked her head as she kept watching him. She watched him wince as the words slowly trailed out of him, "The Duchess...Farrah...She's a friend...That was how we met, in the ladies room at a Mehendi function ages ago...before she became a Duchess"

The lighthearted twists that she felt in her tummy, suddenly felt like heavy knots as she watched Saif. His Adam's apple bobbled as he swallowed while he said Farrah's name. She didn't know why this was affecting her so much. Hanna kept her eyes trained on him not sure what to make of Saif; this friendship he had with her Baba, him standing at her doorway, the friendship he has with a woman who is royalty.

As Hanna studied him, he averted his gaze away from her again. Hanna frowned, she had always thought she was excellent in maintaining eye contact. It showed her strength of character, and that she was unafraid of making a connection.

"Why do you do that?" Hanna asked, annoyance edged in her tone. "Why do you keep breaking eye contact, avoiding looking me in the eye? I mean, there's nothing wrong with looking at me."

"I know that," she heard him breathe. "But every time I look at you, I can imagine...I can see you with your red hair...without your hijab. There is nothing wrong with you, you are perfect. Everything that is wrong, is with me."

Hanna's eyes widen as a lump got stuck in her throat, her face started heating up as her heart started beating a bit harder. She watched Saif retreat down the stairs. She whispered a 'What the fuck' to herself as she sank back down on her bed. Hanna took a few deep breaths and gave herself a big shake. She needed to shake whatever this was before going down for dinner. Her father would be able to read her like a book.

After a few minutes, Hanna breezed down the stairs seeming unaffected by Saif's words. She walked into the kitchen and laughed, "Baba, who did all the cleaning? I thought that was my job?"

"Saif and I decided to let you off the hook today, habibti," Bilal Sahab winked.

"Ya Rab, you asked a guest to do the dishes, Baba?!" Hanna exclaimed with a little giggle.

"It's no bother," she heard Saif say from behind her. He was setting the table with full of concentration.

"Thank you Saif," Hanna said sweetly. She smiled at her Baba as she continued, "I guess you already know that Baba here uses whatever utensil that he can get his hands on while cooking!'

She heard him chuckle from behind her, and the fluttery sensation reappeared in her tummy. Frowning she shook her head again trying to rid herself of these fluttery feelings. Dinner went by easily with lots of silly stories shared among the three. Hanna found out the Saif works as a vet, a specialist or other. She found it hard to focus when he talked with so much passion and love in his voice.

Hanna shooed the men out of the kitchen as they lingered offering to help with the cleaning, but it was only right for her to do it this time round. As she put the last plate into the drying rack, she heard a knock on the door. She looked at the door and saw Saif peeking through.

"I...uhm...I was about to head out...and I...I wanted to...let you know," he said haltingly.

Hanna smiled sweetly at him, his words, his awkwardness; it was so achingly sweet coming from a man of his age, size, and let's not forget looks. If anyone had asked her what she thought of Saif that night in the ladies' room, she would have said; fuckboy, without a doubt. Fuckboy.

With his wavy hair knotted up in a bun and the shirt that fitted him just right with the sleeves rolled up almost to his elbows. The designer scruff he was sporting on his jaw, he certainly fit the description of a heart breaker alright. But the way he was acting right now, it was so far from it. Like he had had his heart broken instead.

"Thank you, for letting me know," she saw him nod and make a move to leave. "Saif," she called after him, and she watched him freeze. Even his name felt sweet on her tongue. "Thank you for being Baba's friend. You have no idea how lonely he was before he met you."

He looked at her with an expression that she couldn't decipher, as he nodded his head. "Feel free to come round whenever you want," Hanna continued as she looked at her hands. Nonchalantly she picked up a kitchen towel and proceeded to wipe her hands.

"Oh and about that night," she pinned him with her gaze even though she could feel her face heat up she continued, "apology...accepted."