Heaven From Here

thirteen

There's always some reason to feel not good enough

Angel, Sarah McLachlan

The rest of the week went by in a blur for Hanna. She somehow found herself sitting in Sana's car as they drove to Southall to shop for her bridal outfit. The whole thing felt surreal to her, like a dream. Or more like a nightmare that I can't seem wake up from, she thought morosely.

Layla, Syafiq, and Saif were supposed to come together. Layla and Syafiq were coming after finishing their shifts at the hospital and Saif was picking them up. The only person that wasn't there was Fatima; she had a family lunch that she couldn't skip out on.

Hanna swallowed as the shops with the colourful displays came into view. She sneaked her hand up the jumper sleeve she wore and pinched herself hard. As her brain registered the pain, her eyes brimmed with tears. This is not how this is supposed to be, Hanna thought as she closed her eyes.

"Hey, you alright?" Sana asked as she gently rubbed Hanna's arm. The girls were privy to all that had happened. Hanna had told them stoically that she was getting married in three weeks and they were to go shopping that weekend. Layla of course badgered Hanna until she broke down and told them everything. Where Layla couldn't stop heaping her opinions on the marriage on Hanna, Sana held her tongue.

"Uhuh," Hanna said as she dabbed at her eyes. "Let's get this over and done with."

"Sure babes," Sana said as she squeezed her friends arm in a show of support.

"Umm," Hanna cleared her throat, "I know I haven't thanked you yet but thank you Sana for coming over today. It's your first weekend as a married couple and here you are going shopping with me."

"Aww, honey...Rizuan understands, he really does. Plus, I am so glad we booked the honeymoon during the Christmas – New Years break," Sana winked mischievously, and Hanna couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her lips. "I would have hated to miss your wedding."

"Anyways, do you have any ideas on what you are looking for? Like the color, the cut?" Sana asked as they got out of the parked car, quickly changing the subject as she caught the glazed look in Hanna's eyes.

"No, not really," Hanna said slowly.

"it's okay honey, we'll take our time and have a browse okay. I'll take you to the shop that I got most of my things from yeah?" Sana said, as she tried to inject some enthusiasm into her friend. She watched as Hanna nodded and forced a smile.

They walked into the boutique and Hanna's eyes absorbed all the details that were on display. The sparkly sequins, the jewel toned colors; Hanna felt like a child in a sweet shop. For a second, she deposited all her troubles, all her sadness, all the worries at the door as she ventured inside with childlike joy. She beamed at Sana as Sana pulled her along to the back of the boutique, towards the bridal area.

She tried to pay attention as Sana conversed with the sales assistants, but her eyes kept straying all over the boutique. She stood up and walked around the bridal gallery, her fingers trailing behind her. Her head snapped towards Sana as she heard her friend call her.

"Alright, so I told them to bring out whatever new designs that they have as well as anything different, modern fusion type designs," Sana said as she patted the seat next to her. Hanna sat down facing what looked like a little stage and jumped when bags and bags of outfits came flying from the side. They were served hot chai with samosas from the corner shop as the sales assistant started opening the bags up.