"There's barely enough time to love in a lifetime, please don't give it all away to pain," his words were gentle, yet slightly pleading as his hand trailed down my cheek.
"But what if the pain has already consumed me?"
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𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐲𝐀𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐮𝐦
NOVA Flashback
I looked up as my taxi slowly rolled through a large iron gate. It was the kind of gate you'd expect in a cliché horror movie, covered in ivy and thorns, with the ominous words "DO NOT ENTER" emblazoned across the front. While most people might have felt a shiver of dread, I felt nothing. Fear had become a foreign concept, lost amidst the numbness that had taken over me.
As the car came to a halt, I couldn't help but be struck by the stark contrast surrounding me. On one side, a picturesque scene unfolded: a serene lake, embraced by a multitude of vibrant flowers and freshly trimmed grass, reminiscent of scenes from my favorite book, Alice in Wonderland. It was oddly fitting for the surreal place I found myself in. However, on the other side loomed a colossal five-story building that bore more resemblance to a prison than a hospital. It stood as a menacing tower, straight out of a nightmare. The grounds were shrouded in an unsettling silence, devoid of the soothing tranquility I craved.
And I just couldn't ignore the gnawing sense of impending doom that clung to the air.
Glancing over at the sign that read 'Thistle Valley Psychiatric Hospital' in shiny gold letters, a shiver ran down my spine. I knew why I was there.... After all, I had thrown myself off a balcony and remained silent for three weeks. But I couldn't shake the feeling that being here was somehow wrong. I wasn't mentally ill; I was just grieving.
"Miss Mae?" A sultry voice called out, over the sound of clicking heels.
I didn't reply, I just kept my head down. There was no trusting anyone these days, I didn't want to trust anyone, they all just ended up disappointing me. I trusted that young nurse in the hospital until she encouraged them to send me to a loony bin.
"Hello sweetheart, I'm Mrs Carsen. It's very nice to meet you." She had a sickly patronising voice, and just by the way she planted herself half a metre away from me, showed that there was going to be no such thing as privacy here. "Chin up, let me look at you, darling," she commanded, interlocking her perfectly manicured fingers.
With a purse of my lips, I reluctantly lifted my head. I didn't want to create friendships or connections, I just wanted to do my time, get better, and then leave.
I couldn't deny feeling stunned by the woman standing in front of me. She seemed too young to be working in an institution like this. Her glossy red hair was flawlessly pulled into a bun at the nape of her neck, her porcelain skin contrasting beautifully with her crystal blue eyes and crimson lips. She possessed a glorious lean build, but what truly captivated me was her magnificent smile—a smile that seemed to light up the grounds— a smile that was fucking fake.
I didn't even know these types of people existed. I was speechless. How do you even speak to good looking people? Should I speak to her?
I hiccupped as her dainty hands smoothed over her fitted pencil skirt, trying to work through the awkward silence. "I'm sorry for your loss, Miss Mae, but we're going to take good care of you here, you have nothing to worry about!" She spoke rather matter of factly and it didn't sound convincing at all, but what did I have to lose?
