Advances | 18+

Prologue

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

NOVA
31/12/2016

It was all a blur.

The entire night, from beginning to end, felt like a scene straight out of a nightmare. But somehow, I had become so accustomed to these types of dreams that I could sense it coming. My imagination had gone berserk, conjuring up thoughts that could rival even the wildest imaginings of a mad person.

It wouldn't be surprising if some considered me crazy; I can hardly blame them for thinking so.

As I swayed to the frantic rhythm of my heartbeat, I became aware that each breath had become a struggle. In such a situation, most people would have fought to inhale, craved air and manipulated it to their advantage, but I found myself contemplating the possibility that I no longer needed it.

I kept repeating the same five words to myself, "It's your time to go," until they were firmly ingrained in my mind and I wholeheartedly believed them.

I wasn't crying, contrary to the tear stains that had left a trail down my cheeks. I was far too numb to cry. Typically, tears come in the heat of the moment or after the initial shock has faded, but I wasn't even sure the shock had hit me yet. In that moment, I was thinking clearly, more clearly than I had in years as I clung to the iron bars that separated me from the forty-foot drop.

The fall looked so appealing.

I inhaled deeply; blinked away the moisture from the cold night, and peered over the balcony. At the base, I spotted her, though it was no longer recognisable as her anymore. Instead, it was a mere clump of human cells spread out across the concrete. The body lying there so dull and lifeless was a terrible tribute to the woman she once was.

I avoided looking down for the longest time, but once I did, I was hit with the grief once again. My breathing faltered, making every breath heavy and uncontrollable as I spiralled into a frenzy, unleashing an anguished scream that embodied all the suffering I had experienced in my life so far.

I pulled my feeble body up from the floor and onto the balcony's narrow edge. My legs trembled so violently that maintaining balance became nearly impossible. In all honesty, I had no desire to steady myself. All I yearned for was relief from the agony, and there was only one way to rid it for good.

My longing to be with her was so intense that it obliterated any fragment of reason that remained in my mind.

With every tick of the clock, the notion of living in a world so harsh and desolate became unbearable; it was a torment beyond measure. My aunt always told me how priceless forever was, but forever didn't seem that great anymore.

And then I was overwhelmed by the crippling realisation that I was utterly alone.

So I took the step forward and fell into the void.

But a strange thing happened: all the pain that had consumed me disappeared and I was left with bliss, pure and utter bliss. There were no flashes of my life's moments, good and bad, instead, I felt as if I was gently floating on a calm sea.

The landing was painless. Perhaps the shock had numbed my senses to the point of not feeling anything at all. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but feel a sense of tranquility washing over me, putting me at ease. I managed a faint smile as I turned towards my aunt, who lay motionless next to me. I reached out to take her hand, realising that the end was imminent. All that was left was to wait for the angel to come and carry me away to the next life.

I wasn't prepared for the literal manifestation of my vision, but it didn't take long before the person arrived. The moment his hands lifted me off the pavement and cradled me against his chest, I knew with certainty that everything was going to be okay.

I welcomed death with open arms.

***