"There's barely enough time to love in a lifetime, please don't give it all away to pain," his words were gentle, yet slightly pleading as his hand trailed down my cheek.
"But what if the pain has already consumed me?"
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- Themes that may ups...
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𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝
NOVA
"YOU DID WHAT?" I screamed, pressing my fingertips into either side of my head.
"Look baby, I know it's going to be tough, but you need this," Jungkook tried to comfort, coming over to hold my hands.
"It's not about whether or not Ineed this," I mimicked, "it's the fact that you went behind my back." I was gobsmacked at how naive to the situation he was being.
Jungkook had come home from wherever, telling me that he had booked me to see a therapist. I knew deep down that I couldn't blame him for doing it, since he didn't know anything about my past, but I deserved to be part of the decision. I could tell that something was off with him the past week or so, like he was building himself up to tell me.
"So, you're telling me, you want to continue feeling the way you do right now? Tempted into taking your own life?" He asked manically, pausing after his last word with his lips slightly parted and eyes closed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to put it that bluntly."
I knew he was trying to take care of me, that's what he did best. He always whisked me away from dangerous situations - that's where he and Jimin were different, Jimin would fight for me even if it meant getting himself hurt in the process.
"You don't know anything... You don't know what it would be like for me being put in that situation," I sighed, not backing down. "It was completely unreasonable of you. I'm so tired of people making decisions for me and treating me like a wounded bird." I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration.
I knew what I'd said wasn't fair. The confident girl I just pretended to be didn't mirror the person residing within me. I was, in reality, as weak as they come. I relied on everyone else to protect me from dangerous situations, only because fighting never got me anywhere in the past. It only brought more pain.
He was getting frustrated, I could tell. "I'm just trying to help you! What am I supposed to do? Watch you deteriorate in front of my eyes and not do anything? You can't expect me to do that, no one in their right mind would do that!"
I took in what he was saying, trying to wrap my head around it all. Maybe I was the one being unreasonable...
I stared at the man in front of me who, although looking just as handsome as ever, wasn't the same cocky and flirtatious person I'd first met. Instead, looking back at me was an exhausted man with dark patches circulating the underneath of his doe eyes. His skin had recently lost its golden hue and he was left almost transparent in the harsh light of my kitchen, his lips the only thing standing out as they were red raw from the constant biting and picking.
What was I doing to him?
"What if I don't want to be helped?" I whispered, finding a spot in the room and letting my eyes lose focus.
