"There's barely enough time to love in a lifetime, please don't give it all away to pain," his words were gentle, yet slightly pleading as his hand trailed down my cheek.
"But what if the pain has already consumed me?"
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𝟑𝟏/𝟏𝟐/𝟏𝟔
NOVA
Three weeks had passed since the incident, yet I still felt engulfed by exhaustion. The trauma had cast me into the depths, and I struggled against the currents pulling me further down. Each day felt like a battle, sinking deeper and deeper until even the simplest tasks—eating, drinking, speaking—became daunting challenges I could barely face.
The mystery surrounding the tattooed man persisted, his presence a puzzle I couldn't solve. Each time I asked, I was met with evasive answers and half-truths, as if everyone were part of a conspiracy to shield me from the reality. But their attempts at protection only deepened my despair. I felt like I was losing touch with myself, drifting further away with each unanswered question.
I had my fair share of problems, that much was undeniable. My past remained a mystery to everyone, but wasn't that understandable? After all, my struggles were mine alone to bear. They didn't intrude into Jungkook's room with guns and murderous intent. Yet, amidst my existing turmoil, the events of the past few hours had left me reeling. Two men had tried to assault me, plunging me into a dark abyss of fear. I was a mess. All I craved now were answers—some semblance of understanding amid the chaos.
I was anxious 99% of the time, even if I tried to act like I wasn't. It seemed like something bad was always lurking around the corner waiting for me. Sana slept with me most nights because I'd wake up in a hot sweat and screaming. Jungkook dropped by for a couple of hours each day, but I barely said two words to him. He was making it extremely difficult for me to see him the same as he wasn't explaining anything to me. It's not that I didn't want his company, it's just he was a terrible reminder of the event that took place.
It broke me; the way things had changed so quickly. This year started so well, I met the man of my dreams and that's all I ever wanted in life – to be love and cherished - but things escalated so quickly. I thought being with Jungkook made me less of a target, but I was wrong. No matter where I was in life, men would always take advantage of me. They saw me as an object that was only there for their benefit, and honestly, I started to believe they were right.
Jungkook loved me and I loved him, but a part of me didn't feel safe around him anymore. It hurt so much to admit that to myself, but it was true. I knew he would never actively put me in harm's way, but the danger wasn't the problem. The problem was that he just stood there when all I wanted was to be whisked away, held close and protected... He just stood there looking just as scared as me. I suppose I felt that way because of the new feelings building up in my gut, but I couldn't deny them. As my body shook with fear and my mental state deteriorated, all I wanted was one person and one person only. I wanted the person that did everything in their power to protect me...
And that person was Jimin.
I hadn't thought about him in that way since New Year's Eve, since he invited me back to his apartment. I had a major crush on him at first and it was a really nice night for me... until it wasn't. I'd had a lot of time to think recently and one of the main thoughts wandering my mind was: what would have happened if Jungkook didn't show up that night to whisk me away to his studio- would I be with Jimin now instead? I knew Jimin had a dark past and had done some bad things in his life, but I couldn't help but wonder if his outbursts were somewhat of a coping mechanism for all his built-up pain.
