"There's barely enough time to love in a lifetime, please don't give it all away to pain," his words were gentle, yet slightly pleading as his hand trailed down my cheek.
"But what if the pain has already consumed me?"
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𝐀𝐒𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐧
JIMIN
That text was all I needed.
It would be more dramatically enticing if I told you I dropped everything and ran, but that wouldn't be the truth. In all honesty, I wasn't doing anything, and I haven't been doing anything for weeks now.
Don't you find it ridiculous how I went from being a playboy or a fuckboy, whatever you wish to call me, that didn't care about any girl whether she was famous, attractive, rich or poor, to this? A guy that would do anything for a girl he's known for five seconds.
I don't know why I thought separating myself from her would help. That whole speech I did about being selfless... was it even true? I was so enamoured by her, so obsessed with the feeling inside me that I scared myself. It takes a lot to admit that. It takes a lot for someone like me to develop those kinds of feelings and it's not right. I don't deserve happiness and that's why I ran away.
What's that phrase people use when they can't deny themselves what they truly want? I think it's the heart wants what the heart wants, or something like that. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not in love with this girl, I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn't form those feelings for anyone. I wouldn't even know what love felt like, even if I did feel it.
The one thing I was sure about though, is that moment that text message came through, there wasn't a single breath left in my lungs. I've had my shoes on ready since that day I let her go. She needed me and how could I ever say no to her?
I hadn't been happy for a long time but a switch flicked and I was excited, giddy even, to see her face. I knew I was the only one who understood her hatred for birthdays but Hobi hyung told me what he had planned, and it sounded amazing. To be around her friends, good music and a dance floor - she was set. I was going to be walking into a Nova I'd never met before.
That's obviously what I expected, but nothing is ever that simple with her.
Trouble seems to follow you everywhere, doesn't it, Princess?
As I got out of my car, I heard the screaming. Judging by the sudden burning in my chest, my body recognised her before my mind could. She sounded distraught, hysterical, pained even, and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't concentrate properly with his voice piping up, bellowing down the street.
Jimin, you need to calm down, she needs you. Look at her, just look at her! I willed myself, pushing my hair back and regulating my breathing. This is what always happened in these situations, her pain would radiate through my whole body so quickly and so abruptly that I would freeze.
But every time I fought through it. My need to protect her overruled any personal struggle I was going through - I didn't matter and she did.
"DON'T ANGEL ME! I'M NOT YOUR ANGEL AND YOU'RE CERTAINLY NOT MY JUNGKOOK ANYMORE! YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER HURT ME AND I PRAYED AND PRAYED AND PRAYED THAT YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH!" She was screaming, her body convulsing as her sobs drained the last of the energy she had in her.
