How to Survive Shopping (Ruleshorror)

13 Rules for Surviving Flea Markets

Bargaining is normal at flea markets, but be careful with what you bargain with.

If you can *feel* the history of an object as you hold it, consider that's maybe not your intuition guiding you. Just as history can attach itself to objects, it can attach itself to people, and you don't know if you want to hold that history until it's too late.

Leave any "cursed" jewelry. At best, they're lying and scammers, don't give them your money. At worst, it's the truth and they're desperately trying to offload it, don't take their burdens. Keep. Walking.

Flea markets have a lot of ghosts, many of them trying to make the deal of a lifetime. They won't pursue you very intensely. Keep. Walking.

No legitimate vendor would be approaching you with a "deal to die for" - the vendors want to make money. The Beings will offer you whatever you want (or they think you want), but no actual salesperson is going to single you out and chase you down like that. They will pursue you quite intensely. Keep. Walking.

Bring cash. It's good flea market practice in general, both because vendors may not have credit card machines and because you do want to bargain. But you also want to be able to buy your way out of a bad deal if you ignore #1.

Be wary of any petitions. They are often a trick to acquire your signature for nefarious purposes.

If a dog or cat tries to chase you away from a stand, believe them.

Don't be ashamed to ask what that strange fruit or vegetable is. You NEED to know if it's safe for your consumption and you NEED to know its name. If they try and brush you off, or give you a vague answer like "almost an orange, but exotic" walk away. On a related note, always ask what's in a drink (hot chocolate, lemonade, beer) before purchasing it. This is both a good practice for mundane reasons, but here it's also important because lots of Others and Beings consider "sharing" a meal a form of agreement to a deal.

Your phone service may crap out. This could be because many flea markets are in the middle of nowhere or because some bozo has a blocker on. This could also be because the one you're visiting is in a Pocket. Don't panic either way, just hope you've remembered rule #6.

Many flea markets are in Time/Space/Dimensional/god-knows-what Pockets. This is inherently a little more suspect to Beings and others. Yes, that means more inherent danger. It doesn't mean don't go - it just means heighten your situational awareness and carry cash. Markets in Pockets usually have cooler and more unique stuff, so by all means go, just keep your wits about you.

You'll probably find some cool maps, if you're into that kind of thing. Read them in your head before reading them aloud, to see if there's anything strange before putting the power of your voice, and read them aloud before following them.

If there are items behind vendors and out of your reach, it's for a reason. Respect that-both because it's pretty obnoxious to reach behind a vendor to grab what is clearly meant to be requested and because that obnoxiousness can have pretty seriously noxious consequences.