How to Survive Shopping (Ruleshorror)

13 Rules for Buying Road Trip Snacks & Supplies

Although I don't personally buy that it's "the most wonderful time of the year," something I genuinely appreciate about December is that at least where I live, it's the norm to get some time off as the year draws to a close. For me, that likely means, Unnamed Global Circumstances Permitting, a road trip. Perhaps you're planning the same. If that's the case, it means you need to stock up on snacks and supplies for the trip.

Like with any other kind of "food" and supply shopping, however, it comes with its own set of risks to consider. Here's how to stay safe(r).

When stocking your car for a road trip, there are plenty of mundane reasons that a blanket is a good idea. It's also a good idea because you never know what kind of coldness you might encounter in unfamiliar places.

Going to Walmart  or a gas station for snacks has its own risks. If you're at a gas station, you might find some strange, off-brand candies or snacks. Sometimes it's just a local or regional thing - go ahead and try the Original Ridged Edible Option. As long as the bags don't slip through your hands or anything weird like that, you should be good.

I'm a big fan of physical maps. You're likely primarily using your phone to navigate. That's not a problem, but the reality is there are plenty of locales you might be driving through that don't have services. It's entirely possible that you might not have service because there's no tower yet in Wherever, Wyoming, or What-Post-Office, West Virginia, but it could also be an issue of something more paranormal causing outages. Either way: get an atlas.

With that said, don't just buy any atlas or grab any map at the rest stop. Some of them may be a map to something else - do you really want to be in rural Nebraska in the 1920s? Old maps are (at best), for wall pieces, not navigation. If your previously-normal map is now from another bygone era, you have a problem. If your map is somehow now of a future era, you have a big problem.

Roadside. Emergency. Kit. You should just have these in your car anyways - jumper cables, big blanket, tire pressure gauge, and so forth - but beyond the mundane reasons, a broken down car in the middle of nowhere is like a sirens call to Beings.

Bring a reusable mug and water bottle. This is *mostly* practical, but also because you don't want the crunch of the plastic water bottles to attract the wrong kind of attention.

Breath mints are an excellent idea, especially if you're going to be traveling with a companion. Just make sure they're breath mints, not breathless mints.

Relatedly, sunscreen and bug spray are something you want to pack, as it'll probably be very expensive wherever you stay. With that said, make sure you get sunscreen, not sunscream (easy mistake) and bug spray instead of bug say (which will have you speaking to bugs).

I feel like I shouldn't even have to tell you the rule about not packing hitchhikers.

As much fun as it can be to get slimy, greasy, carby road food, I implore you to also pack some regular stuff like granola bars, raisins, pretzels, and so forth. A toll might be demanded on you - *sustenance*, one might say, and you want to be able to offer something other than yourself and a bag of pretzels is easy to pass through the window quickly.

Speaking of tolls, make sure you have cash on you. Easy pass or equivalent too if possible. You do not want to barter with what lives below or above the bridge.

If you don't own a sturdy umbrella, buy one. In some places, the rain might be...different...from back home.

An easily sealed car cooler is good idea. Let's just say it might be more multipurpose than you'd think.