How to Survive Shopping (Ruleshorror)

13 Rules for Surviving Diners

So maybe fine dining is a little hoity-toity for you, but you've still been running around town and got to eat. Maybe you're more of the casual sort or enjoy quaint little places. That's just as well about the high-end dining, making reservations is annoying. So you find yourself at one of my favorite genres of eating establishments, a good old fashioned diner. If you've spent a significant amount of time in diners you know they can be odd places with way more supranatural Beings than you'd think, and if you didn't know that, now you do. Allow me to guide you through surviving all the oddities at your local diner.

There are a lot of theme diners, particularly '50s themed. This is fun, I too enjoy a milkshake and checkered tiles. Be aware, however, that if the diner is actually from the '50s and still themed that way continuously, it's probably a portal to a '50s Pocket. It's actually one of the most reliable ways to access the 1950s, but it's much more difficult to leave. A lot of old-timey fae and witch types that given advice become diner waitresses. I don't know so many choose this profession specifically, but it's something really popular with those from "and then the old beggar was secretly an ENCHANTRESS" type stories. So maybe tipping is a good idea. Are the fries good? Any diner worth its salt should have excellent fries. If they're not good, something is very, very wrong. If they write the receipts out by hand, they may have some...alternate payment instructions enclosed. Follow said instructions at your own risk. It's well-known lobsters take forever to sell at diners. In fact, so long that they occasionally develop sentience. I don't recommend diner lobster period, but seriously, don't eat the talking lobster. Sitting at the counter is fun. Sitting at the counter with 1930s gangsters who are suddenly there is your cue to get the check ASAP. Similar to the Walmart tile thing I warned you about a while ago, do not follow any paths in the diner-tile floor. If the tiles seem to arrange themselves into a path, this is not a good thing. Especially if it leads to the kitchen. You really shouldn't be in the kitchen. Like, in general, why would you be there? Especially in the now-times? But diners specifically - there's some stuff you just can't unsee and some ingredients you can't un-eat after you learn what they really are. A lot of diners spotlight local other businesses, if they're a small little place themselves. This is good. And not to create an attractive nuisance, but the diner placemat is actually a pretty good place to start if you're seeking supernatural. Soda is often watered down and coffee gets reheated. Feel free to complain if it seems normal-wrong. If you look down and your coffee is blue or your sprite is purple, something is out to get you and it's probably too late. Most diners, the old ones, have guardian spirits. You do NOT want to meet them. Lots of little places have dog bowls outside. Do not disturb the dog bowls. The only acceptable interaction is buying a treat and place it there WITHOUT touching the bowl itself. Lots of successful diners have been expanded and have a new section and an older, grittier section. Again, not to create an attractive nuisance, but sitting in the old section increases your risk of supranatural encounters with Beings, ghosts, time-travelers, and the space itself.