How to Survive Shopping (Ruleshorror)

13 Rules for Surviving Food Apps

So I've told you about the dangers in many types of , so you've come to the conclusion (possibly over an i), that way to go is to order in via a restaurant's app or a delivery service that dashes to doors or is a hub for grub or promises to be without seams (although for most foods, one hopes not to find seams in any case).

Much like has its perils just as IRL does, however, ordering food online is not without...unappetizing possibilities. Most of these apps prompt you to tip, conversely, I'm here to offer the following tips:

Typically, a food app will have a range that they deliver in. If you're in a city or suburbia, this is good news, less so in a rural area. Some of these apps let you get food delivered out of range for an extra fee - just make sure you're in the range of beings the restaurant caters to.

If you live on the border of zip codes, there might be some minor issues delivering to your address. If you live (or "live") on the border between worlds, expect major issues.

If you're the deliverer of sustenance: if the being who ordered tacos at the witching hour tips well but something seems off about their home, take the tip and don't tip off local hunters of such beings. You don't want to be their next meal.

If you're the (ultimate) acquirer of sustenance, all the usual rules about tipping decently apply - much as I've previously discussed fae types being attracted to diners and sorcerer types being into coffee shops, shapeshifters seem to find something joyous in shifting their location and the type of food they're delivering. Do you really want to be dealing with an undertipped werewolf?

It is perfectly normal for menu items and even restaurant availability to fluctuate. It is not, however, perfectly normal to suddenly have an overflow of off-brand restaurants (MickDanold's, CookOn, DarvoQueen, etc.)

Beware any menu items listed in quotation marks. If it's in quotation marks, I would urge you to read the ingredients if you must order it at all.

Related to #4: it's truly best not to ask who or what would be willing to dash or avoid seams at 2:12 a.m. for a measly $12.50.

Most apps will let you track a driver's progress. If the app begins to show them traversing different dimensions, I beg of you, cancel the order.

It's pretty par for the course for delivery apps to cost more than if you bought the food in person. Just read the fine print in the terms and conditions to ensure that's the only additional cost.

Bear in mind what is the responsibility of the restaurant vs the deliverer vs the app. If the fries didn't have enough salt, that's not on the entity who brought it to your hovel. Don't hold the deliverer responsible for the behavior of the restaurant - they might decide to hold you responsible for something in return.

Use the rating system honestly, but with the kindness and patience you might hope that, um, beings, may rate you with when they have the power over your income (or worse).

If you find you consistently cannot order garlic in a particular area, or food is never salted, that might be a hint about the sort of orders your local Entities might be avoiding.

Contact-free drop-off is good for other reasons, but I would also encourage it as a way to avoid the implication of an invitation. Garlic-avoiders can be the least of your worries when it comes to Beings that require an invite inside.