How to Survive Shopping (Ruleshorror)

13 Rules to Stay Safe at the Pharmacy

It's not fun, but going to the pharmacy/drugstore is a necessary part of life for most of us. My commentary on the grocery store being one of the few places you can still go guilt-free still stands, and absolutely applies here. You aren't going to CVS/Rite Aid/Walgreens/Your local teeny-tiny pharmacy because it's where you can get lipstick, candy, bizarrely specific cards, and sketchy supplements, you're going because it's MEDICAL. The "medicinal" nature of your visit, however, does not negate the need for supranatural caution as I've urged in other situations. That's why I'm here to outline the rules, so you can safely pick up your prescription (and other stuff "while you're out).

If you're looking to avoid trouble, the best way to do so is to pick up at the drive-through window. Check to make sure you got the correct medicine before leaving the premises though - you do NOT want to know what your doppelganger was prescribed.

Yes, there is a Hallmark card for EVERYTHING. If the cards seem progressively less plausible and veer into the "not possible" territory, go back to the other sections. Sometimes Others and Beings need cards too - you do not have the appropriate currency to buy one of their cards.

Some of the cards in the regular human section are still weird. If the card is strangely warm or cold (relative to the store), it has odd writing or is heavier than it should be, put it down. This is at best a summoning ritual and at worst a trapped Being. Both are bad. Don't tell the cashier - they know, why do you think they're trying to offload it?

Sometimes the candy is off-brand. Sometimes it's dangerously off-brand. Read the ingredient list with particular care for knockoff candy.

Usually, the generic and the brand name medicine is the same, more or less. Usually. Consult with a medical professional before trying something that claims to be the same as the original. Most of the time it is - and is harmless, but occasionally, that's Benadryl-like-substance for 357-pound turtle spirits, or Advil-like-substance for Fomorians, not you.

Don't try on lipstick in store. It's like $4 - do you really want everyone else's germs? Also, check the expiry dates on cosmetics - you don't want them to cause you to expire.

Don't be obnoxious about give-a-penny-take-a-penny. By all means, use it, just don't be that schmuck who dumps out the whole thing and wants change. Beyond the fact it's rude, any Others in the vicinity will take great offense.

Yes, the receipts can be VERY long at the pharmacy. The receipts are frequently also coded rituals, don't read the whole thing out loud.

Getting photos printed professionally is a treat for sure. They want to give you the nicest pictures they can so you'll come back. If you see something weird in your photos, ask the photo tech or manager about it and schedule a chat with a medium on your own time.

Those blood pressure machines, while you wait, can be informative. Just don't use them at night.

Pharmacy staff ghosts are generally harmless. If there's one in uniform behind the counter, be nice, and he'll be helpful. Beings in pharmacies are generally less malevolent as well-I'm not saying approach the Sphinx, but that if you have to this probably the safest time, while she's chilling and possibly down some hit points.

The exemption is the ghosts of people who died from snafus the pharmacy you're in has made. You'll know it when you see it. Avoid them if at all possible and get the manager before leaving.

If something from the bargain bin glows when you touch it, congrats on finding your quest item. My condolences on having a quest. If you hear glass shattering from the cosmetics section upon grabbing the item, put it back and abandon your quest.