HeartBLOOD

Chapter eight

"I hate working out.", Alec scoffed as he longed for his water. Him, Raphael, Simon and Maia had gathered in NYABM's own gym which was rarely used and today completely empty. The photoshoot was close and they were trying to do as much shaping as they could before the pictures. "And I hate dieting.", Maia sighed, clearly demotivated. "I hate both.", Simon laughed, "But that doesn't mean we get to just sit here and complain. It's not like we're doing the work only for the photoshoot." "Well", Raphael chuckled, "I am in fact doing it only for the shooting." "No, Simon's right.", Maia admitted, "Apart from it helping us in training, it gets us ahead of everyone for the Nutcracker. I mean, the season is right around the corner, they are probably going to hold auditions shortly after the shooting." "They'd be stupid not to.", Alec smirked and got up from the floor. This year, there finally was a Nutcracker recital at NYABM and all year three students could audition for the soloists. Usually, he would be excited to get the chance to prove himself, show his passion, finally perform again. But he also knew who he was up against- his friends, his lover, his enemy. All those people at NYABM were his competition. He knew that eventually, years after graduation he may have to face some of these people at auditions- he'd have to compete with the people he had shared tights with, spent days and nights in the studio with and had grown to love like his siblings. But his friends being his competition had always been a thought he pushed away. There had always been a chance and he was aware that one day it was between him and them- but for Alec, that seemed so far away. It didn't feel like something he had to do within the next few weeks. "Alec, what's wrong?", Maia asked but he shook his head. Tears rushed up his eyes and he felt dizzy- it was all falling apart. Everything. But this was it- this was what he had been working towards- now he could imagine no worse nightmare. "Dammit.", he cursed and stormed out of the room, straight to the bathroom. How did he end up here? He remembered the day Isabelle told him she signed him up for NYABM auditions- he remembered how billions of thoughts had rushed through his mind, imagining his future, his career, his life. And now he felt like in the eye of the hurricane. Everything around him was a mess- he had no money, his time at NYABM was coming to it's end, his body was a mess, he had no guidance, his friends were soon going to be all over the world, it was going to be either them or him. Tears ran down his face as he crouched down and puked right into the toilet. "Hey, buddy.", he heard Raphaels voice and the clicking sound of him locking the door behind them. "I'm fine.", Alec sighed with a trembling voice and turned his face towards Raphael. By the look on his face he could tell his eyes were red from trying to hold back any more tears. "Okay.", Raphael replied calmly and reached out his hand. Deeply inhaling, Alec took his hand and let Raphael pull him up. "Do you need a minute?", he asked and Alec shook his head:" It's okay- just overwhelmed." "And alone?", Raphael asked understanding. It was odd, Alec was surrounded by people but in fact, he had never felt more alone. "I get that.", Raphael said after Alec's nod, "Even a storm is just millions of tiny, pathetic raindrops."

"Hey you!", Alec greeted Magnus as he walked into the dorm. He had finished training and talked to Raphael about his situation- it had gotten late and he already felt bad for not talking to Magnus yesterday, so he knew it needed to happen today. Honestly, he was quite nervous. Whatever it was that Magnus needed to tell him, it seemed important. They hadn't properly talked after Magnus meeting Asmodeus so Alec was almost certain it had something to do with him. The only thing remaining to figure out was what exactly it was. "Hey.", Magnus smiled and kissed Alec. "So, talking. You said there was something you needed to get off your chest?", Alec got down to it and put his dancebag down. "Now?", Magnus asked, looking nervous, almost anxious. "Yes.", Alec sighed, "Look whatever it is, you can tell me. I can handle it. We can." While Alec tried to remain calm, his heart was racing- not Magnus. He could not lose Magnus. He depended on him. It felt as if his life was falling apart, all his goals crumbling down, but the only thing to keep him sane had been the thought of Magnus by his side- for as long as he had him, there was nothing to fear. He could see Magnus swallow hard, before he started talking. He told him about how he got there and how Asmodeus was dressed differently. He told him everything, or that was what Alec thought

"Asmodeus is your father?", he asked in complete disbelief. "It seems like it.", Magnus replied and tried taking Alec's hand, who flinched. "Wait, I'm sorry, I don't understand.", Alec laughed nervously- this made no sense. "I don't either. All I know is that he wanted to get to know me and reconnect." "Didn't he abandon you?", Alec kept asking stuttered. "He did.", Magnus sighed, "But apparently he had realized that it has not been his smartest decision." "I can't believe it.", Alec exhaled, "I mean- it took him twenty years to realize that and he has the audacity to just show up and lie to your face for almost a year? What is wrong with the guy?!" "I don't know.", Magnus sighed, "I'll just need to figure it all out." "And I'll be there every step of the way.", Alec said and took Magnus' hand. "You're not mad?", he asked and Alec shook his head:" It's not my place to be mad- it's not about me. If you're asking me if I'd kill the guy in case I saw him, the answer is yes."