HeartBLOOD

Chapter twenty-nine

Hello beautiful people! Sorry for not updating, it was a tough week. Anyways, I want to make a trigger warning for post traumatic behavior here: If you have undergone trauma and are not comfortable with the grieving and acceptance process depicted here, please scroll and don't endanger yourself as I will follow through with the process of trauma processing here. Also please note, trauma and processing it is different for everyone else- everyone has different feelings and works in different ways. Therefore please do not compare neither of the characters experience to your own- your experiences might be different, but they are as valid as everyone else's.

Alec stared at the white ceiling in Isabelle's flat. Well, only his memory told him it was white- the dark of the night had dipped New York into the darkest shade of royal blue he had ever seen. Royal blue- the color of Simons leotard he wore that day. Just like Magnus did. A shiver ran down Alec's spine- his heart was pounding heavy in his chest, fighting for every ounce of blood it dried to push through his sore body. It could have been Magnus, that was all he could think about and he hated himself for it. Thinking of everything that could have happened didn't make reality less real- one of his closest friends was dead. Not anymore alive. He was never going to be here again. A single tear escaped his eye- there it went, down his cheek. Isabelle had just lost her Magnus. Isabelle, whose head rested on his chest, her hair tangled up in between his fingers. Isabelle, whose black lashes still seemed a bit darker when wet. To his left, he could hear Magnus breathing rhythmically- Alec was the only one awake, looking at the moon which was almost outshined by the city light. Trying to fall asleep, he closed his eyes but all he could see were flames and Maia's screams. It felt like the more he thought about his life before the fire happened, it seemed like it was crumbling between his fingers until his old life was nothing but dust and ashes. It was gone. After carefully putting Isabelles head off his chest and onto a pillow, he got up from the large couch in Isabelle's living room and made his way to the kitchen. Closing the door, he glanced at the little TV and made himself comfortable on one of the kitchen chairs- he had nothing better to do, anyways. Turning it on, he realized it was one AM- time for news. "A fire in the New York Academy of Ballet and Modern had ruined large parts of the building, putting the school in need of evacuating their students.", A blonde middle aged woman in a royal blue suit proclaimed, "The fire was caused by an electrical error during the senior's rehearsal of the Nutcracker, which they were to perform in a few weeks. The fire had cost one student his life, two more were severely injured, though not anymore in critical condition. Whatever will happen next, we will update you." Swallowing hard, Alec switched off the TV. "Had cost one student his life.", he whispered- that was a nice way to say it. It did cost him his life- first NYABM, that wasn't the life he wanted. And then, that school took his bare existence as well. The funeral was in a few days, and all of them were going to go. He was going to see everyone again for the first time. They would even let Jonathan out of the hospital to pay his respects, though his concussion was still severe. He couldn't help but open his messenger and read the message again. "Please forgive me". One simple sentence, three words, but as incomprehensible as Victorian poetry. Jonathan and forgiveness- two pieces he couldn't put together, no matter how hard he tried. With a groan he got up from his chair and limped his way to the sink to pour himself a glass of water. He wasn't worried about Jonathan. He had no time to be worried about him. All he worried about was Isabelle. Thankfully, the fire had barely affected their dorm area, though they were prohibited from living in there again for at least a few weeks because of toxic fumes and for safety reasons- after all, the extend of the fire was still undiscovered and all the other power sources as well as the entire electricity system of the school needed to be checked before they'd let anyone in. Besides, it was still likely that due to construction issues, there might be more walls caving in- it was an unsafe space, especially due to the building's age. Suddenly, his phone vibrated- a new email from the NYABM board:

Dear students-

We can not put into words what has happened in the past 48 hours, and we still don't comprehend how such a tragedy could occur. We are doing everything to minimize all risks and make sure we can get back on track as soon as it is safe, though the extent of the fire is still undiscovered.

We hope all of you have someone to talk to, if not please reach out. There will be a therapeutic checkup provided, please wait for further information. Until we know more and the training rooms are restored or we have a different space to train, we want you to recover physically and mentally as well as grieve the loss of our fellow dancer Simon Lewis, who we lost too soon.

If you need anything, never fear to reach out and we will provide you with any assistance. We will update you as soon as there is any more information. Until then, heal, grieve, process and rest.

We wish you all the best, take care of yourselves and others,

Helen Blackthorn, Valentine Morgenstern, Luke Graymark and the NYABM board. You are not alone.

Alec couldn't help but scoff- yes, sure, that helped a lot, he thought ironically. So now not only he had no idea about what his life was going to look like, now he also had the reassurance that everyone was as lost as him and there was nobody who would give him a plan of action. For now, he was grateful Izzy let him and Magnus stay at her apartment as long as they couldn't move back into NYABM- not only did he have at least a roof above his head, he also got to be close to his sister. She needed him, and he was aware of that. Alec had missed seeing her every day, he realized. He missed living with her. And now that he had that back, he needed to be grateful for that. Even though the circumstances were as bad as it got.