HeartBLOOD

Chapter twenty-two

"It's what I have always dreamt of.", Maia said and swallowed hard, "It's what I was supposed to do. And I owe it to my six year old self to give it all that I've got- to make it perfect." "You are going to make it perfect!", Raphael exclaimed, "The sugar plum fairy is your role, and there's nobody I know who could do even merely as well as you." "I know.", Maia sighed, "It has been my dream role ever since I started dancing. So, the pressure is on." "Is it really just pressure?'", Alec asked with a frown- he knew all about pressure but he had never imagined Maia would be this stressed because of it.  "Mostly.", She sighed, "Just the fact that this is literally my dream would have already been enough to stress me out, but the fact that this is probably going to be one of our last performances together is even scarier. When we got to them competition in year one, we all thought this was going to go on forever, we acted as if time was infinite. But it's not. Time's almost up, and when I think about the day all of us auditioned I want to cry because I can't believe this is coming to it's end. We all have changed, I mean look at that: Clary has a child, Maureen has a real job outside the world of Ballet,  Sebastian didn't even make it through the first year." "It's crazy to think about it.", Simon grinned, "Soon we can call ourselves NYABM alumnis- we haven't made it through senior year yet, but we're so close." "Isn't that scaring you?", Maia asked, "Because I am terrified. I am terrified of what comes after, I'm terrified of the person I'll be, the job I'll do, the friends i'll have- everything is going to change. NYABM has a lot of downsides but it feels like home to me." "It does feel like home.", Alec sighed, "It's where I grew so much as a person, it's where I met Magnus and all of you, it's where I learned to take care of myself and be proud of who I am." "Since Maureen has left, honestly, it doesn't feel like home that much anymore. Obviously , you guys are my family but seeing Maureen so free, living her life outside the ballet bubble- it makes me want to explore, you know? It makes me want to see what the world has to offer for me too." "See, that's what I mean.", Simon replied, "I love NYABM and I'm a hundred percent dedicated to Ballett but I'm a twenty year old dude who wants to break free and see something else than tights and empty advil boxes." "So you're excited to leave?", Maia asked, sitting up straighter in her bed. It seemed like their technique had worked- she was opening up, and more importantly, she was distracted. "Actually, yes.", Simon chuckled, "There's just so much I want to do, so much food I wanna try, places I want to visit- I love NYABM but i can't wait for what's next."

"Well, how did talking to Maia go?", Magnus asked whilst Alec and him were in the waiting room of doctor Zachariah's Office. He had offered to join Alec and he, to Magnus' surprise, wasn't too critical of the idea. "It went great, actually.", He chuckled, "We got her to open up. Like Maureen said, it was all about persistency." "So, what's the deal with her, then?", Magnus asked, trying to distract both of them of why they were here. Alec had gotten all the scans done weeks ago, but it was only for now that they managed to make an appointment to talk them through. "She's pressuring herself way too much.", Alec sighed, "Maia has dreamt of this role, especially with the NYABM Ballett ever since she started dancing so she feels like she needs to be perfect." "I get that though.", Magnus said, "If you want something that bad and finally get it, you stress yourself a lot. It's the one shot you've got, after all." "Seems like you're talking out of experience?", Alec grinned which upon Magnus nodded, "I have been there myself. But she has nothing to worry about." "True.", Alec chuckled, "It's just the fact that it'll be one of our last performances that's stressing her out on top of everything else that has been going on. She wants to make it count." "You should.", Magnus smiled, "It's a time none of us will ever get back, and that times is quite limited. But that's the way life goes." "I guess so.", Alec sighed and just as he wanted to get out his phone to check his messages, they got called in by a nurse.
"The scans, right?", The doctor asked and pinned them against the light wall. "Yep.", Alec replied and started picking the skin around his fingers. "Well, it's like expected- the meniscus never properly healed so there's some scar tissue which is probably causing the troubles." "Isn't there anything one can do besides ice and physical therapy?", Magnus asked and a deep crease formed on his forehead. "Magnus-", Alec whispered but Magnus shook his head:" I mean, there's gotta be something, right?" "There is.", Doctor Zachariah sighed, "If none of the other measures help or the pain gets worse, there's the option of surgery." "Absolutely not.", Alec exclaimed immediately. "We'd remove a little piece of the scarred meniscus which would reduce the risk of the inflammations, which are causing your pain. But of course, like every major and minor surgery it has risks.", He carried on, "You don't have to decide now, or tomorrow, it's just an option that you can keep in the back of your head- it's not running away from you, you can wait until the end of the season or your NYABM year, it's the last option but it's an option. Even in years, when you figure you want to do it, you still can. You don't need it, but you can get it." "Just think about it.", Magnus smiled weakly and squeezed Alec's hand.