HeartBLOOD

Chapter forty-two

"Come on, get in!", Maia exclaimed as Alec opened the door of her car. Today she came to pick him up as they rented a studio room at the town's rehearsal studios for their training. Not being at NYABM had a lot of disadvantages, but the main disadvantage was that they all had a hard time motivating themselves to be productive and actually keep working on their skills. So, Alec and Maia thought it would be a good idea to meet, practice and sharpen their partnering skills after the break they have had. "Has Magnus found an occupation yet?", Maia asked stopping at a red light. "Yeah, actually he landed a contract as a fitness model- not really in the dance field but close enough, I guess. I didn't even see him today, he was off to some casting before I was even awake." "Well, good for him!", Maia exclaimed. A shiver ran down Alec's spine as they drove past the graveyard where Simon was buried. Maia next to him swallowed hard. "It doesn't get easier, does it?", Alec sighed, peeling his gaze away from the gravestones- he couldn't deal with that just yet. "Let it go, Alec. Let him go.", she replied stroking his shoulder. She was never as close to Simon as Raphael and Alec were, but she always thought it was wiser to celebrate the living than to mourn the dead. "It's just hard to move on, I guess.", he exhaled and his mind went spiraling back to Raphael, "Raph really can't." "He's still not better?", Maia asked with a frown, "Not even with Maureen here?" "She said he was trying to keep it together but simply getting out of bed seems impossible to him.", Alec sighed, "He's a poor guy, really, I can tell he's really struggling." "We all are, that's no reason to let oneself go, though.", Maia replied harshly. "Come on Maia, you know it's not as simple as that." "I do. Some people choose to be unhappy." "Are you serious?", Alec asked in disbelief and looked at her, "You can't think Raphael chooses to live like this, can you? He's embarrassed and ashamed of himself, it took a lot for him to even let me in in the first place." "Well, then he needs to get his act together. It's Simon who died, not him, so he better stop pretending it was the other way around. Grief is not an excuse.", she snapped and stopped the car in front of the rehearsal studios. "We all grieve in different ways and it feels unfair to judge people by the way they cope- as long as it doesn't harm others." "Of course you're siding with Raphael!", Maia exclaimed, "But you know what, I'll side with Maureen- his behavior is harming her. She's worried, she's stressed and needs to take all of his bullshit because he's having a hard time. He can't take that out on her, never." "But what about you?", Alec asked calmly, "You gave me a hard time because you felt neglected during your injury. You were going through something and taking it out on me, and honestly this feels like you still are. What happened to the Maia I knew and loved?" "She stopped smiling and started speaking. And if you need everything to revolve around you and your beliefs, then I am sorry but I'll speak my mind despite that." Alec couldn't believe he was arguing with Maia again- just as he thought they had settled:" This isn't about me, Maia. Relationships are a give and take, you help your partner when they're going through something, they'll help you in return. Raphael was by Maureens side throughout all her insecurities, her eating disorder, her reorientation in life, he supported her and helped her as much as he could during all of that. Now Maureen is helping him process what has happened in the past half year. Raphael isn't harming her by the way he grieves, he is harming himself and Maureen is trying to protect him from that." "But at what cost?", Maia asked, "Just think about the price you pay if that support doesn't turn out to be unconditional."

"You're not going to believe the talk I've just had with Maia.", Alec vented the second he saw Magnus in Izzy's kitchen. Usually he wasn't one to rant but he felt like he was going to burst any second- it took every ounce of self control in his body to calmly finish dancing with Maia without calling her out on what she said. "You guys fought again?", Magnus frowned, "What is up with you two, you used to be a dream team?" "I'm asking myself the same thing.", he scoffed and let himself fall onto a chair, "I don't know what happened to her but I doubt it's the ankle-story." "It was never about the ankle, she felt neglected.", Magnus explained. "Yeah, but why does she start an argument and invalidates Raphael's situation right now- it's obvious he took everything very bad and his condition is serious, he has a problem and is in a troubled state of mind at this time- I just don't get how one can judge someone by the way that they grieve?", Alec explained. "What was her main point?", Magnus asked, "She has to be coming from somewhere?" "According to her he made a decision to be be in such a bad place and chose to be unhappy- which is complete and utter bullshit but I don't need to tell you that. On top of that, she's blaming him for harming Maureen because now she has to worry about him- isn't that messed up?" "It is.", Magnus replied calmly, "But all she wants is someone to take care of her as much as Maureen takes care of Raphael or we take care of each other. She's hurt, she feels neglected and not cared for so she's jealous." "Of Raph?", Alec asked, his eyes as big as plates. "Of course. She wishes she was treated the way he is when she felt similar to what she thinks he feels like. The girl wants comfort and as long as she's being that she'll howl like a bleeding wolf."