HeartBLOOD

Chapter thirty-eight

The weather was quite good so Alec was happy about leaving Isabelle's place. Today, Magnus got called into that mandatory meeting with the therapist, so Alec decided to meet Maia at the park. Their last conversation wasn't particularly friendly and Alec's initial thought of some deeper meaning behind Maia's lash out appeared to be right. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't figure out what the deal was- he didn't do anything wrong, at least nothing he could remember. When approaching the bench they agreed on, he realized she wasn't there yet. When looking at his phone he realized he was a little late himself so he decided to sit down and let the early spring sun tan his pale skin a bit- it had been weird not being stuck at NYABM those past weeks. He himself hasn't dared to go back yet, but Isabelle drove past it the other day and told him it didn't look too bad from the outside. Weirdly, something about the thought of going back to that place made his insides twist- it all ended in such a rush. Besides, now he had to figure out what he was going to do until classes were to start again. Ever since the fire, he had barely worked out and tried giving his body some rest which definitely did some good. Though he was enjoying the weather and definitely happy about it finally being spring, he couldn't help but worry about Maia- where was she? It wasn't typical of her to be late, especially not when she was the one asking for the hangout in the first place. After texting her, he focused back onto his surroundings- it was a Tuesday morning, still the park was crowded with children and their stressed out parents, elderlies on their morning walks and young adults that were running, trying to get their workout in before lunchtime. With a sigh, Alec fidgeted his phone out of his pocket and opened the notes-app - it really was about time he started getting back into shape again. After all, he didn't want to completely detach from his former lifestyle like Raphael did. As another ten minutes had passed, he finally heard a well-known voice:" Hey!", Maia said and sat down next to him, "Sorry I'm late, I was trying to figure this out." "Figure what out?", Alec asked with a frown, slowly letting his gaze wander up and down her body, trying to figure out what was wrong. "This whole situation. Anyways, how are you, how's the knee?", she asked, drawing the attention away from herself. "I'm okay, I guess.", Alec replied, consciously ignoring the second half of the question- this was not about him. "What about you? You wanted to talk, right?" "I did, uh, I just don't know how.", Maia stuttered and started looking at her shoes, examining the concrete beneath them with worrying precision. She didn't look much different than she usually did, but she behaved like another person. The smile and the sparkle in her eyes had vanished and the Maia next to him seemed like the shell of the Maia he used to know. "Come on, just tell me- what do you have to lose?", Alec said and turned her face towards his. "Your respect?", Maia chuckled and pushed one of her curls behind her ear, "Now that I think about it, it's kind of pathetic." "It can't be pathetic if it bothered you that much.", Alec explained, "Come on, I can tell when you're hurt." "I'm not hurt I was just feeling alone.", Maia replied with a sigh, "I get it, all of us were going through stuff but the last time we saw each other was when you carried me out of that building. Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful for that, but I guess I had just hoped that all of us would check on each other?" "I get that.", Alec said and swallowed down the guilt rising in him, "I guess with Izzy and Magnus around I just got stuck in my bubble." "But that's the point- at NYABM, we were a family. And then when Simon died Raphael shut down, you distanced yourself completely from the situation and I was left alone, no one asking how I was, not checking on me at the hospital, nothing. It just felt like Simon took our bond to the grave with him." "That's not what happened", Alec tried to interrupt but Maia cut him off. "That's exactly what happened, Alec. You disconnected from reality whilst the reality was that your dance partner was hospitalized with a crushed ankle that could have been a career ender- I just expected a little more empathy especially from you." "Look, I understand.", Alec tried explaining himself, "It was unfair that I got so caught up in my own stuff that I didn't look out for you. I mean I wish there was something I could do, but..." "You could have been there for me!", Maia spat, "After I covered for your injury the entire first year, I thought you of all people would understand how I feel?" "How do you feel, then?", Alec asked, trying to keep a calm voice- Maia had a point and thinking back to it, he did feel sorry for not catching up with her. As her dance partner, their relationship depended on mutual trust, so he was going to do everything to restore that. "I feel scared.", she replied truthfully, "I feel let down, in pain, but most of all I feel scared." "Then there's not much I can do.", Alec replied, "I've been scared ever since that competition rehearsal. The only thing you can do is not make the mistake I did, let it heal properly and learn to live with the fear." "I don't want that.", Maia said, "I can't do that." "Of course you can.", Alec said and smiled weakly, "Only after we get the air knocked out of us we really start appreciating breathing. That's how it works."

Hello beautiful people!

I had the worst writer's block of my life therefore I am so so so sorry for not updating for so long, but I promise we'll finish this trilogy.

So happy to be back, XOXO, AllyMaii