HeartBLOOD

Chapter forty-seven

"Are you scared", Magnus asked, very well knowing the answer himself. "Maybe a little, yeah.", Alec admitted. After all, ever since the fire neither of them had even been near NYABM. "I wonder what it looks like.", Alec admitted- it was a weird feeling going back to the place you used to call home for two and a half years, the place that you connected to some of the best and worst moments of your life. "True. I don't even remember how bad the fire truly was. Kinda tried not to think about it." "Fair enough.", Alec replied as they turned into a very familiar street. "We're perfectly on time, though.", Alec noticed. Neither of them was in the right headspace to have a real conversation, both were just waiting for the awkwardness to pass and fille the unbearable silence with stupid small talk. "Wait, we're here!", Magnus exclaimed and pointed down the street- Alec's heart sunk, a sick feeling taking control of his body. He was so nervous, he couldn't even put it into words. Slowly but steadily, they kept approaching the big building with the big doors. "It doesn't even look that bad.", Magnus replied in surprise but changed his mind the second they walked in. What used to be grand, elegant halls with turqoise stone, gold mirrors and white marble was nothing but empty walls. Two out of three chandelliers had been replaced with large lamps, the one still hanging was barely working, the mirror was cracked, the walls stabilized with wood and bricks, not with ornaments and art. Alec sharply sucked in his breath- this hurt. He remembered being so amazed and overwhelmed when walking into the building for the first time ever and to some extend he had hoped that it would be similar now, but it was nothing alike. The life had vanished out of the school. It was dead. "Oh my god", Magnus whispered from the other corner. Peeling his gaze away from the bitter destruction, Alec followed him and gasped when he was what he was referring to: In the middle of the construction site of dust and prayer stood a table with two pictures. "In our heart forever, in loving memory of Jocelyn Fairchild, admired coach who gave her life to save the younger students in the building, and Simon Lewis, beloved student who brightened all our lives every day. May you rest easy.", said a small silver plate next to the dried flowers which framed the pictures- Jocelyn and Simon, just as Alec remembered them. "Fucking hell.", he exhaled and sunk to his knees- it was like someone twisted the dagger in his heart, only issue being that Alec forgot the dagger was still in there. "It's beautiful, though.", Magnus replied with a bitter smile and stroke Alec's back whilst he was breathing heavily, face buried in his hands. "He was right, two and a half years ago with the computer journal in his hands. The first person I befriended.", Alec stuttered, "Why? Why did he have to go? He had so much more he was striving for." "Life's just not fair, Alec.", Magnus replied, still striking his back, "He's better now. And I'm sure he doesn't want to see anyone cry over him. Let him go, let him fly, let him rest."

Walking into the training room felt weird- it wasn't as damaged as Alec expected it to be, but the hole in his heart couldn't be fixed by one room looking like it did before. Though, there was something comforting about it- training room one, the room where it all started was probably the only part of the school that completely survived the fire. "Alexander, Magnus, good to see you.", a hoarse voice said. Slowly, Alec turned around and saw Valentine- a shadow of the man he used to be. His shirt was unironed, dark shadows under his eyes, grey hair, no posture. "Good to see you, mister Morgenstern.", Alec replied and smiled weakly- he had never thought he'd be happy to see Valentine. In the back of the room he saw Aline and Jonathan, Gretel fidgeting at her sweater, Camille on her phone. "Hey, man.", he heard Raphael who hugged first Magnus, then Alec. Both of them looked at each other with their red eyes and swollen faces. "That picture-", Raphael said and Alec just nodded:" Yeah. Big one." Only seconds later Maia walked in there- she looked lost, small, fragile. Not at all like she did before. "Hey, Maia! Good to see you.", Alec smiled weakly and opened his arms. "Oh, Alec.", she sniffled and buried her face in his chest, "I'm so sorry.", she whispered after his arms wrapped around her. "It's okay. We were all hurting.", Alec said and stroke her hair, "It's all going to be okay." He only let go of her, when Valentine cleared his throat and looked at the assembled. "I don't even know what to say.", he said after a few seconds of silence, " Does anyone of you have something to say, maybe?" Silence spread through the room, not a single soul able to speak what was on all of their minds. "I just want to say that I appreciate everyone being here today.", Raphael said out of nowhere, "Knowing I had all of you waiting here was the one thing that enabled me to come. And thank you guys for checking up on me. Thank you guys for being a family." "I'm grateful to be here.", Jonathan said, "Because if it wasn't for someone else in this room, I would've died that night. So, if it wasn't for your open hearts and loving selves, I wouldn't be here today. Though I know, maybe I didn't deserve this second chance, but it opened my eyes. And I'm trying to be better, though I can't take back the damage I've done. So, I apologize for all I did to you and I am forever looking up to you guys for finding the strength and dignity to be the better person and save my life, despite thinking I don't deserve it." "I'd like to thank you, Valentine.", Alec continued, "For teaching me a lesson about resilience and dedication. And about forgiveness. So I'd like to for us to take a moment to mourn the ones that are watching from above today. Simon, I hope you accomplish all that you wanted in another life. I hope you're finally happy and I hope you're finally free. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you, brother. And Jocelyn- you shaped me into the dancer I am. I'll forever think of you when working out and I promise to never complain about a pushup ever again- women still give birth, after all."