HeartBLOOD

Chapter forty-eight

"Any idea on how to proceed?", Maia asked into the circle. "Well, there's actually some organizing stuff I need to tell you guys. First of all, if any one of you still needs support on their way to both your physical and mental recovery, please reach out. I promise, whatever it is, it's valid and there's help out there.", Valentine said before opening the same journal he has had over the past years. Alec had never seen him with a different one, actually. "We wanted to let you know, that there has been some damage done to the dorm rooms. That leaves us with one mens room and one women's room safe for living. Therefore, we'd like to invite those of you who aren't originally from New York back into NYABM- we can still provide you with apartments, but if you feel like you're ready to come back, we'd love to prioritize you guys. That would mean, Raphael, Maia, Gretel, you three are the first in line." "I'd love to come back.", Raphael said immediately and Alec's heart contracted- he could imagine why. "Me too.", Maia said and Gretel nodded as well. "Okay, that leaved one more spot - anyone of you guys want to join Raph?" After Jonathan shook his head, Alec and Magnus exchanged a gaze. "I'd move in with him, if that's okay by you, Raph.", Magnus offered and Raphael nodded:" But only if you're fine with not living with Alec-" "It's all good, I got my sister. I won't be alone and neither should you.", Alec replied and a smile of relief brightened Raphael's face. "Okay, now that we have this settled, I need to say that we're planning to reopen NYABM next month- But, as we only have one training room, we will have to divide the week: You'll be training on Tuesdays, Saturdays and Sundays, year two will be in on Mondays and Thursdays and year one will be here on Wednesdays and Fridays.", Valentine explained and Alec nodded- that was perfect as he wasn't working at BDA on either of those days. "What are we even training for?", Raphael asked. "A fundraiser.", Valentine smiled weakly, "to restore NYABM. We'll choreograph it together, practice together and maybe you'll be able to practice at some private studio spaces on the other days of the week as well- with your partners, as a group, alone, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that we slowly but steadily get back to where we were and move past this- the grind never stops." "The carousel never stops turning.", Magnus whispered and Alec nodded- he needed this. He needed NYABM, he needed dance, he needed routine. "Okay, then let's go. I'm proud of you guys.", Valentine smiled and for the first time ever since that one day, it genuinely felt like it all might turn out to be okay after all.

"Felt weird, huh?", Magnus asked after they finally walked out of NYABM, on their way to the grocery store. "Weird, but in a good way. I never knew how much I needed to reexperience that NYABM feeling in order to tick a few boxes in my head.", Alec replied, "And it makes me feel better about BDA. About myself, in general." "What do you mean?", Magnus asked with a frown. "I kinda like teaching.", Alec chuckled, "I would have never thought I would, but I do. And it's oddly comforting to like a career that doesn't 100% depend on your physical abilities anymore. Visiting NYABM and listening to Jonathan's speech, I kind of realized that maybe it's time to get some things fixed." "Surgery?", Magnus asked, swallowing- he knew what big of a decision this was. "Not saying I have decided, but I have a feeling that teaching might help me in making that decision. It's therapeutic, in some weird way, at least I feel like it might be. It's widening my horizon, that's for sure. And maybe it'll help me to come to terms with what has happened." "I'd love that for you, truly, I think you'd deserve that.", Magnus replied with a soft smile, "But also know that I'll support you in your decision, whatever you will decide on, I will be on board." "Thank you.", Alec replied, "Thank your for your support." "Thank you for your love."

"So, what's the plan?", Magnus asked, roaming through the baking isle at the supermarket. "I messaged you the shopping list.", Alec replied- it was Isabelle's birthday tomorrow and she was sleeping over at a friends, so they decided to bake a cake for her and gift it to her tomorrow morning. "It makes my stomach twist realizing how much sugar goes into cake.", Magnus laughed as he picked up some sugar and put it in their cart. "That's why I have a love-hate-relationship with baking- on the one hand it's so rewarding and fun, but on the other hand it always makes you feel bad about your diet." "It really shouldn't, though.", Magnus replied, "We've been eating so clean those past months, I doubt some cake will make a big difference." "And even if, do I look like a care?", Alec laughed and put a box of coco powder into their cart- he couldn't remember the last time he had truly baked something. "Do we have milk at home?", Magnus asked, looking at the shopping list with a frown. "Yeah, I got some a few days ago for coffee- but get another bottle, just to be safe.", Alec replied before proceeding to pick out which type of flour he wanted. When he was a kid, this was what he had pictured his life to look like: Grocery shopping with the love of his life to bake a birthday cake for his sister after going to a fancy ballet academy- but never in a million years would he have thought he'd go there not to dance but to mourn a friend, he would have never thought he'd fall out of love with dance for a little while and he would have never thought he'd rock bottom- again. But that was just life- messy, unpredictable but beautiful in the weirdest way.