HeartBLOOD

Chapter thirty-four

"Looking good.", Magnus smiled weakly as he stepped out from behind Alec who he just helped finish up with his tie. "I haven't worn a suit in so long, it feels so weird.", Alec sighed and brushed over the deep black fabric with his hands to straighten the last wrinkles. "Okay boys, ready?", Isabelle asked and walked into the room, already fully dressed in a black skirt and its matching blouse as well as equally black heels. "Are you?", Alec asked a bit worriedly- Isabelle has been acting really strange ever since the fire- you would think losing her lover would make her cry all day, leave her devastated on the ground but instead she was cooking fancy breakfasts and braiding her own hair. Alec couldn't blamer her for acting weird, especially not today, the day of Simon's funeral. He had no idea whether she was trying to keep denying what has happened or whether she tried to act normal and distract herself so that normality would come back. Either way, it was unlike anything he has ever watched his sister go through. And whilst all of them were licking their wounds, she was up and ready to go. "Of course I am!", Isabelle replied with a fake smile and Magnus and Alec followed her out of the apartment where their Uber was already waiting for her.

"Hi! So good to see you.", Alec stuttered before pulling his best friend into a hug. Raphael was paler than usual, he looked like he had lost weight and gotten completely out of shape. Like a scar from the infinite sleepless nights, the dark circles under his eyes looked as if they had been tattooed on his skin. Random hair grew around Raphael's mouth, as if he started shaving but decided to quit half way through. "Hey man, you good?", he asked immediately. There was no light in his eyes, no flash in his expression. "I'm okay.", Raphael sighed, his voice flat. Suddenly, Alec felt incredibly bad. All this time he had been complaining, he hadn't noticed how lucky he actually was. He had Magnus and Isabelle, there was always someone around. Now looking at Raphael he noticed, not everyone had that comfort. "Are you living at Maureen's right now?", he asked bluntly. "Not yet, I'm still living in the provided hotel room. Maureen has a roommate, she'll go on holiday soon though, maybe then I'll move in.", he replied calmly. "Please do.", Alec answered and stroke Raph's upper arm, "You need someone to take care of you." "Maybe I do.", Raphael smiled weakly before turning away to greet Magnus.

"Have you seen Raphael? He looks terrible!", Magnus exclaimed when he pulled Alec aside in a quiet moment. "I have, actually. He has let himself go, you can really tell.", Alec replied and ran his hand through his hair, "Honestly, we all haven't been doing exactly great either, but I think he is really struggling. He also is on his own, whilst we can split the work and help each other out, all of his stuff is on him and him only." "He look exhausted and honestly, I can't blame him for needing a break. And if that break includes shaving and doing hair as well as ironing suits, as long as he showers from time to time I am fine with it- we just have to make sure he get's back on track afterwards and doesn't lose himself in this." "I don't blame him either, I needed a break from dance as well after what has happened. But especially Raph, the one who is always so invested in his looks and even more in the overall aesthetic of his being being the one to completely let himself go- it's kind of disturbing, really." "We have all changed because what has happened. We all struggle, we all try to cope, we all get on with life somehow. Some are handling it better, some are worse.", Magnus sighed and gazed at Isabelle, "Your sister, for example, seems to be doing fine. In fact, if nobody knew it is her boyfriend we are about to bury, one might assume she wasn't even a close friend. So, you would say she is handling the situation well, huh? Nobody knows what's going on inside. I'm sure her heart has been shattered, but from the outside we can't tell. Same goes for Raphael: Whilst his outside looks like he has given up, maybe he just saved his powers for the inside to heal." "Do you really think so?", Alec frowned, looking at the net of oily hair framing Raphael's face, who has been sitting on the same lawn chair for twenty minutes straight, doing nothing but staring into the sky. "I don't. I do this he is struggling really badly, but it's still a possibility and something we need to keep in mind when proceeding with some kind of action." "What action are you talking about?", Alec asked surprised. "I mean, we have to do something, right?", Magnus frowned, "We can't just let him let go like that! The man's got to fight, and if that means we have to teach him how to, we will!" "I do hope Maureen is going to move in with his as soon as possible.", Alec sighed, "I truly have no clue what I would have done if it hadn't been for yours and Isabelles constant support. Thinking about how he doesn't have that, it makes me realize how lucky I am, despite all of the crap that has happened." "Raphael isn't so unlucky either, in fact none of us is.",Magnus replied, "A load of bad things has happened, we have faced so many obstacles but all of us made it through somehow. Life keeps throwing things at us, but it's up to us whether we catch it or not. This is another one of those things. And if you regard how much training we have had, especially in the last few years, I have absolutely no doubt we will make it through this one as well. As long as we've got each other, we have the universe on our side.