HeartBLOOD

Chapter forty

"Maureen, hi!", Alec exclaimed and pulled his friend into a hug- it has been too long since he has seen her. To be precise, the last time he had seen her was at Simon's funeral- his heart still cramped when he thought about that day. "Hey, how have you been?", Maureen asked and smiled at him- she looked better, healthier, actually. "I'm alright.", Alec chuckled and let her come in- Magnus and Isabelle were out, she wanted to get new curtains for the living room and Magnus definitely knew more about interior design than Alec did. "You're always alright, Alec.", she grinned, "You know that though this is about Raphael, you can always talk to me?" "Same for you.", Alec replied and swallowed his anti-inflammatory medication. He slowly but steadily was feeling improvement but it wasn't going as fast as he'd hoped. Being as bitter as he was about it, he tried not to think about it too much- he didn't like his options, anyways. "Your leg still bothering you?", Maureen asked with a frown. "Yeah.", Alec scoffed and took a sip of water, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. "Ain't that insane? One wrong move and you're still dealing with this over two years later? It's not fair." "Well, it is what it is- it was better one time but never good and the fear of it getting worse again starts to get to you after some time. And obviously, you step on it wrong once, it can take you out for weeks.", he sighed. "Well, I understand. I can't imagine what it's like for you, but my eating disorder felt somewhat the same- sometimes better, sometimes worse, never really good and you're always scared you make on tiny mistake and you'll push yourself down a whole you can't get out of." "Spot on.", Alec chuckled, "It ain't always easy, huh?" "Nope.", Maureen replied, "But it's as easy as it gets. So, if you wanna talk, I'm here." "I appreciate it.", Alec smiled weakly, "But when it comes to me, the damage is already done- Raphael however can still be saved."

"Raph, I'm coming in!", Alec yelled and unlocked his best friend's apartment door. A stuffy smell took out his breath. "Jesus, it smells!", Maureen exclaimed, in shock already- Raphael had always insisted on having fresh air all the time, he always used to open all windows during rehearsal. "Yeah, well let's see where the man is at.", Alec said and walked in- to his surprise, it looked a bit better than it did last week when he last checked in on his friend. "Raph, dude, where you at?", he yelled as he realized the bedroom was empty. "Oh my god, what did you do!" he heard Maureen shriek from the living room where she found her boyfriend on the couch, deeply asleep. "Come on, man!", Alec yelled and slightly slapped his face a couple of times- Raphael's undereyes were dark, a beard was starting to form on his usually so cleanly shaven face. "He smells like he drank a whole liquor store!", Maureen exclaimed and ripped open the windows when he was starting to open his eyes. "Hey, buddy, do you know who I am?", Alec asked and held his friend's face with his hands. "Alec?", Raphael groaned by the light. "Good- what's the worst ballet step to ever exist?" "Petit allegro.", Raphael coughed and sat up. "He's alright.", Alec chuckled, no less concerned. Only now Raphael realized Alec wasn't his only visitor. "Maureen? I thought you were in LA!" "Well, I came back yesterday and decided to surprise you. However you have surprised me- Raph, what the hell? Drinking, seriously?", she snapped, disappointed. "I knew it was a bad idea.", Raphael sighed and gladly accepted the water Alec had given him, "I just thought I'd try it. It was the first and last time, I promise." "I get it.", Alec sighed, "But stuff can get you addicted faster than you think, I'm speaking from experience." "Yours was different-", Raphael tried to interfere, but Alec broke him off:" Exactly, so don't make it a habit to distract you from the real issue." "I know, I'm sorry.", Raphael replied and glanced at Maureen, "Any chance I can get a hug, at least? I missed you." "You will, once you shower and brush your teeth.", she chuckled and helped Alec cleaning up the few things scattered around his apartment. "It looks quite clean, though.", Maureen smiled weakly, clearly still processing the previous shock. "It does- it seems like this truly was a one time thing, and I do believe he truly feels sorry.", Alec reassured. "He better be- Raphael can't start letting himself slide again just as things were starting to get better. I doubt he leaves his place but at least he seems to be doing something apart from laying in bed all day." "Baby steps. Everyone copes in different ways and for Raphael, losing NYABM was just one thing too much to deal with." "How did you cope?", Maureen asked in all sincereness. "I didn't.", Alec chuckled, "But I'm getting there- got that mandatory therapy thing over with, started working out again, it's coming together." "That's good to hear- I hope Raphael is going to get there soon as well. I just can't stand seeing him so lost when I know I can't provide him with any guidance." "I just heard my name?", Raphael asked grinning as he stepped into the room. Though he still looked terrible, one could tell he made an effort to pull himself together, even if it was only for a day. "Well whoever that man in front of me is, he looks a lot more like the man I fell in love with than that guy on the couch.", Maureen smiled and pressed a soft kiss against Raphael's shaven face before moving on to his lips. "He doesn't know who he is either, but all he does is hope he can fully turn into the man you fell im love with again."