3.0 The Chronicles of Us - Choas & Clarity

Chapter seven

•★ Tex ★•

I'm not sure if I'm approaching it the right way. Maybe I should try to speak with Ellie before the wedding. On the other hand, it will be harder for her to avoid me when we're surrounded by people. That's probably shitty and selfish reasoning but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Now that I think about it. The wedding is the perfect occasion to get her back. She'll be all emotional and hopefully thinking about our special day in a good way. It might be enough for her to lower that thick steel wall that she threw up and listen to my apology. I sigh deeply. Yeah, great fucking plan.

Think positive.

Think positive.

How the fuck am I supposed to stay positive?

She's going to leave me. Of course she fucking will. I would leave my dumb ass if I could.

My stomach turns and my heart ... well, my heart is a fucking mess of painful beats and hopeful skips.

Grateful I'm alone in the fitting room, I lean my head against the floor-length mirror. The cool glass calms my mind. Ellie and I are made for war. We've been through so much already, but we made it together. We are bound so tightly; with our hearts as well as our souls. Not even my despicable act can end us. Wishful thinking?

Maybe.

Probably.

That's all I have, though. I need to maintain some form of sanity if I want to keep her with me. That kidnap scenario I once concocted comes to mind. I could do that. I could lock her up and wait for Stockholm Syndrome to kick in.

Tempting, but obviously not realistic and definitely nowhere near sane behavior.

My heavy exhales formed a thin layer of fog on the mirror. I draw a heart in it before sliding on the suit jacket. Can't say that I like this monkey outfit, but I know Ellie does. I look myself up and down, avoiding meeting my own empty eyes. I suppose this suit will do. It's all black; fitted yet simple. No notable details or additional padding, just matt-looking fabric that falls to the shape of my body. I contemplated wearing my wedding suit, but Ellie would definitely attack me if I did.

And not in a lustful way.

"How does it fit?" the sales lady asks from behind the curtain.

Right. I've been lost in thought here for too long. It's probably weird. Don't want her to think that I'm some perv with a kink for wanking in public spaces.

I slide the curtain to the side. "Yeah, uhm, I think it's all right."

Her eyes wander over my frame while she nods with her chin in her hand. "That suit looks very good on you—" Her gaze lands on the tattoos on my neck. "—but it's expensive. Maybe you want to try something else? We have some nice ones on sale."

Judgmental cow.

I straighten my back. "I was gonna buy those snakeskin loafers you have displayed up front, but now I'll stick with this suit."

I was definitely not gonna buy those god-awful shoes, but it's nice to see her face fall. They're pricey and would have granted her a very nice sales commission.

She nods politely, realizing her mistake. "Anything else I can do for you?"

"Two more of these button-ups."

"I'll meet you at the register when you're ready." She nods again and then leaves me to fetch the items.

After undressing and throwing the suit in the corner, I sit down on the soft cube. With my head in my hands, I draw deep breaths. The fuck am I doing? Casually shopping for an attire to impress Ellie like we're meeting for a date? She fucking hates me!