3.0 The Chronicles of Us - Choas & Clarity

Chapter nine

•★ Tex ★•

With a cigarette between my lips, I stare at the darkening sky. There's a strong possibility I fucked things up with that speech. When Ellie returned after excusing herself, her eyes were puffy. She cried for sure. Could that be a good thing? A sign that I moved her?

Probably not. The chances of her ever forgiving me are very fucking slim at best. I don't want to push her too much but—fuck—it's really hard to not just drop to my knees and beg her to take me back. I want to, but I won't. Her decision to come back to me shouldn't be motivated by pity. I won't force her to stay in an unhappy marriage for my sake. Even if the thought of losing her kills me.

I take another drag and then put my cigarette out in a sand-filled footed ashtray. After dinner, she quickly left the room with Maggie. What are they doing? Or worse, what are they talking about? Maybe I'll be asked to leave, to keep the party fun.

"Hey, Tex, how are you holding up?"

Speak of the devil.

"Terrific," I reply sarcastically and then sigh. Frank doesn't deserve my foul mood. "You here to ask me to leave?"

His brows come together in puzzlement. "No, why would I do that? You haven't misbehaved."

I nod slowly, relieved I still have the evening with Ellie. Even if it's from afar. We silently watch the moon show its crescent smile for a while. "Did I take it too far with that speech?"

His hand rests on his chin while he thinks about it. "Let me be Frank with you—" He chuckles and I roll my eyes. "—you definitely got a little sad and weepy, but I think it was just right. You spoke your mind, now it's time for her to let the words sink in."

I told myself to wait for her to give me an answer, but I'm really fucking desperate. "Has she said anything about leaving me? Or forgiving me?"

He shakes his head. "No, she hasn't. She's hurting for sure; either yelling or crying in her room. I don't think she knows that we can hear her. I never heard her mention divorce, though."

The word alone makes me wanna vomit. Still, she hasn't made up her mind yet. That means there's hope. Little hope, but hope nonetheless. "Right—okay. That's good, I suppose."

He pats my shoulder. "Let's get back inside, the evening entertainment is about to start."

I follow him. I would've offered to perform with the band if Axel and Joey weren't doing a trip around the world. Earlier today, they sent me a picture of themselves at Machu Picchu, dressed in traditional clothing and both standing next to a lama. I miss those weird fuckers.

"I have to warn you," Frank says when we reach the bar. "She's gonna make you pay tonight."

My heart flips. "The fuck does that mean?"

He doesn't answer, he just nods his head to the other side of the room. I follow his gaze and fuuuck me. I'm sure Maggie looks beautiful, but I only have eyes for the vision of black velvet and auburn hair. Ellie struts across the room, wearing a black ankle-length dress with a split that goes up all the way to her thigh. The fabric clings to her shapely figure in a way that makes me drool for real. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

Yup, definitely drool.

Still, her face is what really heats my blood. Her lovely features are surrounded by loose curls and her eyes are smokey black. One look from her could set a man on fire. Me, being that man. I'm on damn fire.

I clench the edge of the bar top to keep myself from marching up to her and swinging her over my shoulder. I have no right to make any advances at her. Frank was right. I'm paying tonight. She's making sure I know exactly how badly I fucked up by showing me what I had and undoubtedly denying me if I make a pass. It's fine, though. I'll accept her every punch. I'll take every blow she throws my way until she stops fighting me and I can hold her again.