3.0 The Chronicles of Us - Choas & Clarity

Chapter thirty-nine

•★ Tex ★•

None of this is right. The three of us were supposed to walk out of that hospital. Me, Ellie and one kid. Not me, two kids and no wife. I'm not some math genius but even I know this equation is off.

I had it all figured out. I was gonna be the fun dad and let Ellie do all the nasty stuff. I was gonna make jokes and rock my guitar while Ellie wiped noses and cleaned spit. Yet here I am, changing diapers by my lonesome. They say the smell is not so bad when it comes from your own kid. They're wrong. It's fucking disgusting.

I hold my breath while I chuck the dirty diaper in the special pail. I had to learn everything from scratch in a rapid tempo. Feeding, bathing and burping. Never knew you actually have to make them burp after they're fed. At least I mastered the skill of swaddling.

Life's been so fucking hectic, I had no time to wallow in my pain. However, there's a steady ache in my heart that is making it hard to breathe.

In and out.

Again and again.

When Baby One makes little noises, my chest feels lighter and a smile appears on my face. I slip on the pink onesie and take her in my arms. With her face pressed against my bare chest, I smile at Baby Two, who's sleeping peacefully in her crib like a little burrito. Skin-to-skin contact is supposedly good for creating feelings of security. It definitely works for me. Besides, the hamper was piling up with spit-covered shirts.

Roy and Gaby thankfully came to the rescue. They brought some of Elodie's newborn stuff. Clothes and the likes. As a gift, they bought a two-seater. Not a car, of course; a fucking stroller.

The in-laws have been helping out as well. As soon as they heard, they got on a plane to Los Angeles. Ellie's father headed back to Faroaks yesterday, but her mother is still here to teach me all the baby tricks.

Speak of the dev—angel.

With a load of clean clothes, she enters the baby room. Even though she lost a lot of her uptightness over the years, a full view on my inked torso makes her a little uneasy. The demon must be too much.

Although, her eyes study me curiously. "Why is that one the only one in color?"

I twist my body and look down my right side. The tat she's referring to is a portrayal of a realistic heart on fire. "Yeah, it's a symbol for Ellie; how she colored my life when I all could see was gray."

She nods sincerely, a crease of appreciation on her forehead. "That is really deep, actually. How did Ellie react?"

Don't make a dirty joke.

"She responded deep ... ly emotional."

More like deep throat.

Now's not the time to be gross. I've got important things to take care of. Before placing my daughter in her crib, I kiss her head and inhale her scent. Babies smell really nice when they're not wearing a shitty diaper. Obviously, my other girl gets a kiss as well. I lean over and press my lips on her little cheek. Her fast breathing comforts me. It freaked me out at first, but, apparently, it's normal.

When I turn, mom-in-law hands me a clean shirt. "You're doing such a great job with those girls. Fatherhood suits you very well."

I slip my shirt on and smile awkwardly. Parenting came more naturally than I ever thought it would. But I don't wanna do this on my own. I glance at the flower-shaped clock. All morning, seconds past dreadfully slow, yet now I have to rush. "I gotta go now. See you in a bit."