I Love You, Goodbye

306 13 8
                                    


Eunha's POV

I can still remember Sowon unnie's hurt face when she saw me with Yuju at the school's library last time. I want to talk to her, to apologize and stay friends with her but I know it was better for us to just go on our own different paths. I know to myself that I can never love her the way that she truly deserves.

I am so deep in my thoughts and get startled when I felt hands wrapping around my waist. I smiled at the sudden warmth.

"Sowon unnie..."

The hands let go of my waist making me frowned and looked at the person behind me. I was surprised when I saw the hurt look in Yuju's face.

"I'm so sorry, Yuju. I don't know why I said Sowon unnie's name again."

"Really? Why don't you just be honest with me, Eunha? Do you still love me? Am I still the one who owns your heart?" Yuju asked me making me speechless. I don't know why I can't answer her right away. Yuju took a deep breath and glared at me.

"Did you fell in love with Sowon unnie? Tell me honestly, Eunha-ya. Is Sowon unnie the one who owns your heart now and not me?!" Yuju shouted at me with tears rolling down her eyes. I was about to wipe her tears away but she shoved my hand away. "Answer my question first before touching me, Jung Eunha."

I felt so hurt 'cause Yuju looks mad at me. I love her and I don't want her to get mad at me. She's my bestfriend, my first love and my true love.

"Yuju, I love you. You are still the one inside my heart and not Sowon unnie. Why do you keep on questioning my love for you when I suffered enough just to prove my love to you? I agreed to Sinb's deal in exchange of your scholarship. I've hurt Sowon unnie and fooled her because I can do everything just for you." I said as tears started to roll down from my eyes.

 I am hurt cause Yuju keeps on questioning my love for her after all the things I did for her. I know there are times that I think about Sowon unnie because I missed her and I'm still guilty for all the lies I've told her but... I choose Yuju.

 I choose to stay in love with Yuju even though I'm confuse in what I really feel for Sowon unnie now. I choose Yuju because I told myself since before that she's the only one I will love forever and besides, no matter what I do, I know to myself that I can never deserve Sowon unnie's love for me.

"I've suffered enough too, Eunha. I never enjoyed your dating acts with Sowon unnie. The thought of you with Sowon unnie by your side is almost killing me everyday. I know you did that to save my scholarship and I'm so thankful for that but...I've suffered like you. I acted like a stupid and martyr girlfriend of yours because I love you." Yuju said glaring at me and it breaks me. The thought of her getting mad at me is always killing me everyday since my bullying date with Sowon unnie started. 

Yuju is my love, I know that I love her even though a stupid part of me is shouting for Sowon unnie.

"I love you too so please stop bringing back the past, Yuju. The bullying games and the deal I had with Sinb are all over so move on! Stop reminding me about it, stop reminding me about Sowon unnie!" I shouted at Yuju out of frustration. Why can't she see that I'm doing everything for her? I keep on telling myself that she's the one inside my heart and not Sowon unnie because that's all I really know.

"I never did but you keep on talking and thinking about her, Jung Eunha!"Yuju shouted at me and burst into tears. I hugged Yuju but she keeps on pushing me away so I hugged her more tightly.

I know she's right. There are times that I accidentally said Sowon unnie's name and I remembered her but...it was such a big mistake. Yuju should be the only one in my heart and mind but it seems that Sowon unnie and Yuju are both sharing the same place in my heart and my mind now.

 I hate it, I hate that I don't understand who really owns my heart now.

"Get away from me, Eunha. You don't love me anymore. How could you do this to me?" Yuju said tearing my heart apart. I don't want to tell myself that she's right because I don't want to lose her.

 What's wrong with me? I am so confuse if Yuju still owns my heart or it is Sowon unnie now.

"That's not true, Yuju. I love you, I still love you and I won't stop loving you so please, don't give up on us. Don't give up on me. Don't ever leave me, Choi Yuju!" I keep on crying and hugging Yuju so tight. I'm so afraid to lose her. I can't imagine my life without her.

"I don't want to leave you too, Eunha. I want to stay in love with you but...I think you need some time and space alone to assure yourself if I'm really still the one who owns your heart."

I looked at Yuju's eyes and saw her staring back at me. No, I'm afraid to hear what she's going to say next. Don't do this to me, Yuju. Don't give up on us.

"Let's give ourselves some space, Eunha. I know you are confused and I'm confused too. I think it was better if we will free ourselves for now." Yuju said making me shocked and widen my eyes.

No! Don't do this to me, Yuju. Don't break my already broken heart.

"What?! What are you trying to say Yuju?"

"Let's break-up, Jung Eunha."

Break-up?!

 Yuju tried to free herself from my hug but I don't want to let her go. I cried and hugged her more tightly.

"No! Please? Don't do this to me, Yuju. Don't break up with me." I begged at her as I hold her tight. I know I am confused in who really owns my heart now but I'm pretty sure that I don't want Yuju to go away and leave me. I don't want her to leave me. I'm so afraid to lose her.

"I don't really want to but...after all the things that happened between us, I think we both deserve to give each others some space. We need to do this so that we can have some time to clear all of our confusions inside our hearts. I know that's what you really need, Eunha."

I shook my head and continued crying. Yuju pushed me gently away from her.

"I love you that's why I want to give you enough time to search my real place in your heart, Eunha. I will accept it if...one day, you will tell me that Sowon unnie owned a bigger space there than me but...I hope, I still own a bigger place in your heart, Eunha. I love you and...goodbye, for now."

Yuju cupped my face with both of her hands and captured my lips. I just closed my eyes and let myself be drown in her sweet kisses but my heart, why it felt so bitter right now? Yuju moved away and just stare in my eyes.

"I love you, Eunha."

"I love you too, Yuju."

I tried to kiss her again but Yuju walked out the door of my apartment's unit leaving me sitting at the sofa alone. I burst into tears because I've lost her. I lose Yuju and also Sowon unnie.

 Do I deserve this? But why?

End of Eunha's POV

-------

Author's Note: I know you are all confused in Eunha's love for Yuju and Sowon. Honestly, Eunha has some obsession love for Yuju that's why she agreed to become part of Sinb's bullying games but life is full of twists and turns so she accidentally fall in love with Sowon. The real problem now is how Eunha will cope up with everything after all of this. Will she still fight for Yuju? Or will she finally give her love story with Sowon a second chance? A lot of more things will happen for the OT6 in this story so let's all be prepared for that. Thanks for reading.

Love Me RightWhere stories live. Discover now