Love Me Right

I Don't Deserve You

Eunha's POV

I know that I need to finally break up with Sowon unnie but everytime I saw her beautiful smile, I can't say goodbye to her. How can I break her heart everytime I see the happiness in her eyes? I don't have the heart to hurt her but...I can't give her the love that she truly deserves. I know to my self that I don't deserve her love for me. I need to tell her the truth and I need to accept everything that will happen after I confessed everything to her. I have no choice but to break her heart and that fact is killing me inside. I know I love Yuju but...Sowon unnie is such a precious woman that I don't want to see crying esp. because of me. I hate myself for fooling her but...I hate myself more cause I can't understand why I don't want to leave her now. I hate this situation.

"Eunha, are you okay? You are lost in your thoughts again. Is there a problem, my princess?"

I looked at Sowon unnie and when I saw her loving stare at me, I started to feel more guilty. I know it was all Sinb's fault but this is also my choice. I am a coward that's why I keep the truth to Sowon unnie. If I told her the truth earlier, maybe, I won't be so guilty like this.

"Why are you crying? Don't cry, my princess."

Sowon unnie wiped the tears that's falling down from my eyes. How can I break her heart? I am so heartless, stupid and crazy to fool this precious woman. I burst into tears and hugged Sowon unnie tightly. I don't want to worry her but the guilt in my heart is killing me inside.

"Eunha, stop crying. I am here for you, I will never leave you. I love you."

'Stop saying sweet words to me, Sowon unnie. I don't deserve you. You should hate me and leave me all alone. '

"You can tell me what's the matter. I will listen to you. Stop crying, okay? I don't want to see you cry." Sowon unnie said so sweetly but my heart felt so bitter right now.

"I deserve this. I'm so sorry, Sowon unnie. I-I don't deserve your love. I'm sorry."

I felt Sowon unnie hugged me more tightly. We are on the rooftop deck now cause I want to talk to her. I want to finally tell her the deal I had with Sinb and break up with her but...I can't do this. I'm scared to lose her and I don't know why.

"That's not true. Don't say that again. You are the only one who owns my heart and I want to stay with you forever. Why are you thinking that way? I love you, Eunha."

I looked at Sowon unnie and she smiled at me. Her beautiful smile is always thrusting me stay.

"I love you and that's the most important. I don't care about what others will say to us. I love you and I will never leave your side. Don't ever leave me, Jung Eunha."

' Stop doing this to me Sowon unnie. You're making it harder for me to leave you.' I opened my mouth. I want to tell her the truth but no words came out from me.

"It's okay. You don't need to explain anything to me. Just stay with me and that's enough for me."

"Sowon unnie..."

"Ssh. Stop talking. Just...stay with me. Please?" Sowon unnie said making me hate myself more. She wiped my tears again and cupped my face with both of her hands. We stare on each others eyes and I feel so lost in her eyes. Slowly, she leaned her face closer to mine with her eyes closed.

I know I should not do this, I don't deserve her kiss but I want to taste her lips. I closed my eyes and let our lips touched. It was an innocent kiss but that's enough to make me lose my self control. I circled my hands on her neck deepening the kiss. What started as an innocent kiss became intense as we both moved our lips. Her kisses are so sweet and I can't get enough of it. I know I should not do this with her but I want to. I want to be selfish and claim her as mine. I know our relationship is such a big lie but my heart is so confuse right now. I don't know if I'm really in love with her now but all I know is, I don't want to let her go. We broke the intense kissing moment then stare on each others eyes. She smiled again at me.

"T-That's my first kiss, Eunha. Thank you for making it so beautiful and precious." Sowon unnie said with a blushed on her cheeks. I smiled at her. My hands are still on her neck and our faces are too close to each others. I need to end everything between us but...Let me just be selfish for a while.

"That's my first kiss too, Sowon unnie."

"Really? I'm so happy cause I'm your first kiss. It's such an honor for me."

I smiled because of Sowon unnie's words. I want to leave her with beautiful memories before I let her go. She deserves to be happy.

I'm so sorry if I can never give you the happiness that you truly deserves, Sowon unnie.

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When Saturday came, Sowon unnie and I went to an amusement park. We spend the whole day enjoying rides, playing games and eating anything we want. I am content whenever I saw her smile. If she's happy, then I'm happy too. I want to spend our last days together enjoying each others and making her happy before I say goodbye to her. I know to myself that I don't deserve to stay forever with her. I am not worthy of Sowon unnie's love.

"Thanks for this wonderful date with you, Eunha. This is my best day ever." Sowon unnie said while staring sweetly at me. We are now riding a ferriss wheel. I want to enjoy the beautiful view outside but the girl beside me is the most beautiful in my eyes. I smiled at her and interlocked our fingers together.

'You deserve to be happy, Sowon unnie. '

"I'm happy that I made you happy, Sowon unnie. I want to see you always smiling because your smile is so beautiful. Just keep on smiling, Sowon unnie." I said sincerely.

"I will keep on smiling as long as you're here by my side. I love you so much, Jung Eunha." Sowon unnie said making me more guilty again. I smiled at her and was surprised when she slowly leaned her face closer to mine again with her eyes closed. I just smiled and let our lips touched.

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After my date with Sowon unnie, she took me home but I don't want to stay home. My mind is so confuse just like my heart. It's already 9 pm but I still went out the house and went to the nearest park. I sat on the bench and started to do some reflection.

The rain started to pour down but I stayed on my spot. I need to punish myself to lessen the burden inside my heart. I closed my eyes and let the rain cooled my mind. I felt cold but I don't care. This is nothing compared to what happen to Sowon unnie before. I just stay on that stop letting the cold rain punish me.

'I deserve this. I deserve punishment and not your sweet love, Kim Sojung.'

End of Eunha's POV

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Author's Note: WonHa finally had their first kiss. It was sweet but painful for Eunha. Aish, why did I punish my own bias under the rain? Tsk. Anyway, ready your heart for more heartbreaking chapters again. Sorry my dear readers. Thanks for reading.