Beastars x reader (Season 1)

CHAPTER 84: GO BACK (PART 3)

The TV turns on, showing cartoons singing and dancing, for a children's show, it has good music. 

I remember this show when I was a child, a few children singing in their backyard and imagining stories each episode.  Even though it's just a children's show it made me want to sit and watch it for a few seconds.

Dad: Turn off that music right now!

My father's yelling startled me, making me concentrate again, I turn to look behind me to see a little me not as small as before, turning off the TV and getting up from the floor on which she was lying watching the program.

The moment the TV is turned off, everything goes dark. All the atmosphere that abounded in the room, turns into an empty silence.

I remember my father didn't want to know about music after mom left. That's why, under my bed, I always had hidden a violin that I took from mom's composition room before she left, I kept it as a memory about her but I knew that if my father saw it... He would get rid of it.

Everything stays dark for a few seconds, until a spotlight shines next to me, where I see myself again eating noodles next to my father at the dinning room.

Dad: Life is funny you know?  My stupid boss says I'm not wearing the right clothes to work, but I need fucking money to buy it.  But they don't want to pay me a penny until I have it.. Stupid fucking boss.

While my father kept complaining about work, I focus on seeing little me.  Staring at the plate and eating in silence.  I was about eight or nine years old that day.

My father stops talking to keep eating, stabbing the food with the chopsticks before eating it.

Little me subtly turns to see my father, who notices she's looking at him.

Dad: What are you looking at?

Little me startles and turns to look at her plate again. She wanted to avoid any problems with him, but it was already too late for her. 

My father kicks the seat where little me was sitting, knocking her to the ground violently. 

Dad: Don't look at me like a fucking failure!

I startled with fright, I even feel the pain that I had felt at that time for a few seconds.

My father's anger becomes opaque the moment a strong white light dazzles me causing me to close my eyes.  When I open them, I'm out of the apartment, in the back.

The place is empty, but I hear distant cries, I can recognize those cries come from little me who's still at the apartment.

Soon the metal door to the back of the apartment opens, letting me see my father, clutching my stuffed butterfly and furiously walking to the garbage can. 

I remember perfectly what happens, but I can't do more than see what happens. 

Just as I remember, my father opens the lid of the garbage can to drop it in, and then whispering to it...

Dad: Right where you belong .. I don't want ANYTHING to remind me of you..

I look up to see little me watching from the window what's happening, with tears in her eyes.

My father then closes the garbage can in anger, causing a deafening noise, the moment he does, a thunderclap dazzles me again.  What I see now is the same place at night in a storm.

I hear the noise of the rain and thunder, followed by the sound of a window sliding, I look up again to see little me sneaking out from the window and slowly descending, clinging to the bars of the neighbors' balconies in silence to go down.