The Recruit

Chapter 2

The next two weeks felt like a dream. I continued to travel around with this stranger called Jake, and it started to feel really natural to be with him. It was beautiful to see all the good things Roma has to offer and more. 

He showed me his hometown in Florence and we went to Milano as well, since he thought if I was going to stay in Italy for one month I need to go beyond Rome. For the first time in forever, I felt happy. As if there was at least one reason to live: to explore more. My goal has slowly shifted from finding a beautiful place to die to feeding my curiosity by travelling.

"Ragazzi, passatemi la palla!" Shouted Jake as he played soccer with the local boys. Competitive shouts and happy laughter mingled in one as I watched in awe how good Jake interacts with the children we just met. I cheered him own while I try not to think about not having children on my own and realize that I would never be that good with kids. Despite the subtle unexplainable pain in my chest, I can't help but laugh as the children tackled Jacob from all sides because he dominated the ball. 

He tried to joke with them that it wasn't his fault that he was good at soccer. I laughed even harder at his childish behaviour then wave to get his attention while pointing at my wrist. I mouthed, "We have a train to catch." He nodded once and gestured to the group for a time out. We said our good byes to the kids and they told us they hoped we visited again. One of the younger boys whispered something in his ears that made him grinned generously before the youngster ran back to his friends.

When I asked him what that was all about, he shook his head and told me to not mind it. It wasn't important. I was a little sad. Hey, if that could make him grin like that, that must be funny. And I need every serotonin supply I can get.

Seeing my pout he put his hands on my shoulders and told me, "Really, I swear my heart principessa. It's nothing. Just an inside joke between a man and a boy. He might have said something like I have a beautiful wife." He winked at me and grinned.

I felt my cheeks warmed from embarassment and cleared my throat. "Alright Jake, I believe you. Lead the way now, the princess gets lost easily." I threw a wink at him, causing him to laugh as he took my hand and led the way to the train station to catch our first train back to Rome.

"I wish... I could live here. Italy is so beautiful." I said off-handedly on our train ride back to Rome from Milan.

"Then move here." Jacob said seriously. I just nodded and laughed at the ridiculous notion, knowing soon I need to face my reality and go back to where I belong. My home country.

Fuck! That realization hurt like being thrown by a thousand bricks. No more travelling with Jake, no more sightseeing, just back to my depressing life. Only thinking about it made me feel like I should revert back to my original plan.

Jake squeezed my hand, "What's the matter, amico? I thought you wish to move here?"

"I do... it's just that... I've been through trying to move to a different country once and it was too difficult for my mental health to handle. If anything, I would probably ruin my memories of Italy if I set my mind to move here. I don't know." I give him a sad smile.

"You know Jake, I always dreamed... I dreamt that I would marry some hot Italian that loves me, spend the rest of our days in this beautiful country, and I get to take care of our children here. It's a beautiful, but painful dream." I said sadly with longing as I try to focus on the trees outside of our aisle window, so I wouldn't cry in front of this unbelievably kind stranger that tensed by my words. 

"Oh God sorry, I mean not 'our' as in you and me, you know. I mean like a hot random Italian man. If anyone is willing you know." I fumbled for words to relax him and resolve the misunderstanding. If anything, he felt even more tense this time, but I heard him took a few calming breaths.