The Recruit

Chapter 39

Summer 2021 Central Java, Indonesia

Livia

The few days after Kojiro left me; I planned my travels meticulously since I didn't have much time. I also slept even less since I was starting to get plagued by nightmares as Barbatos promised it would happen.

I was surprised and glad the kills were easy since they came over pretty quickly. Alejandra's house seemed empty without any guards. I thought that was really weird. Growing curious I saw the bodies piled up in her basement and her CCTV were already turned off before I came.

While trying to kill Tonya in Russia, I met a group of people who hated the Brotherhood for what they had done for their city and asked to join my cause. It was nice to have help, but the way they killed – they did not seem to be a group of angry countryman. They looked like genuine assassins from the Ordinatio, but how did they knew I was here?

Was it Kojiro? But how did he know if I never told him in the first place? I often asked myself.

I wanted to attribute it to some luck, but it has too many coincidences between the last kill and this one. My mission was done, so I headed back to Indonesia and went back to the orphanage I worked for. The nuns saw me and the state I was in. They let me in immediately, prepared me a room and told me I could have my job back. They did ask about my child's father, but I never answered so they assumed the worst.

Now, three months after my last kill, my nightmares grew worse and worse. Before these past few days, I could think of my Pietro and I could feel that he was with me. I could tell him that I love him and he would tell me he looked forward to meet our child. 

The only dishonest thing I did to 'dream Pietro' in my dreams, I wouldn't tell him that I am running away from him. I also didn't tell him about not going back to Ordinatio because it would ruin my rare beautiful dreams.

All I could see now in my dreams is my son, Jacob, and my husband got killed in their apartment, every day on repeat until it become unbearable. 

I guess by now Pietro had finished drinking the potions. I smiled sourly at the thought. 

It's for the best, Livia. Let it go. I try convincing myself.

At first I try to avoid sleep, but then the Supreme Mother would tell me even if I don't feel like sleeping, I need to sleep for my child's well-being. Hence, I try to sleep as best as I could. Although it only made me wake up feeling even more jaded in the morning. I would also wake up with wet eyes as if I had spent my nights crying, not sleeping.

The next step after the nightmares of having my family murdered brutally in front of me, my bodies started to ache all over and my head felt dizzy all the time. The children would hound over me to ask me what was wrong with a concern etching on their little faces, but I couldn't worry them. I went to the doctor's often to check about my condition but they told me that there was nothing wrong with me and told me to rest more.

That was when I know that the Blood God is coming to reap what I promised him. He is coming to take my life. I pray to God every day to at least have him come after I give birth to my son. I'm scared for the baby's safety. I feel so alone now that I can't no longer see Pietro in my dreams. 

I didn't even realize how much I depended on my mate for my survival this whole time. In the beginning, in my dream, Pietro would always murmur his love for me and our baby. He would hold me and told me the dreams he has for his sons. Pietro occasionally gave me updates about Jacob, making every dream something to look forward to as it seemed so real. I cried more and more often these days as I find myself missing my family.